Blog.

Need Vs. Want

want

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE WANT

This isn’t your typical post on determining your needs vs. wants crap.

And yes, I think it’s crap. Well, a bunch of hooey anyways. (I’m not even sure what hooey is, but let’s go with it for a minute.)

I always got so frustrated when you had to set a budget and determine your needs and wants. Have you ever had to do one of those exercises?

First of all, it’s boring as Hell. (Assuming Hell is boring – but in actuality, I’m sure it’s a collection of fascinating individuals…. I digress….)

Second of all, it’s freakin’ impossible to decide what is a need and what is a want when you are doing a budget.

Like, I really do need these shoes, and I really can live without the _____(fill in the blank: toaster, toilet cleaner, milk for my children)_____. My kids don’t need breakfast anyways or socks for that matter.

So, needless to say making a budget or those stupid exercises where you have to determine your NEEDS VS. WANTS are totally annoying and crap – and now I finally have proof and something that made me scream YESSSSS (SALLY STYLE)!!

Welcome to my A-HA moment!

I was reading The Law of Attraction – yes, another book on manifesting – as I tend to do in my “spare” time and I came upon this paragraph on needs vs. wants. For the first time in all my financial life this finally makes sense and I can tell those budget/needs vs. wants financial planning tools to take a hike!

Here is what it read:

Just as the difference between positive emotion and negative emotion can sometimes be very subtle – the difference between wanting and needing can be very subtle.

When you are focusing upon what you want, your Inner Being {however you define that} offers you positive emotion. When you are focusing upon what you need, your Inner Being offers you negative emotion because you are not focused on what you want. {Instead}, you are focused upon the lack of what you want. …

… When you are feeling a positive emotion, you are attracting into your experience that which you want. When you are feeling a negative emotion, you are attracting into your eperiece that which you do not want.

Think of it like this:

The word NEED has a slight negative or full out negative connotation to it.

“I need to go to work.” “I need to buy groceries.” “I need to make dinner.”

Do you feel how those come off negative?

The word WANT has a slight positive or full out positive connotation to it.

“I want to go to Disneyland.” “I want that red handbag.” “I want to play with my dog.”

See, those sentences feel lighter and positive. The word WANT stirs up so many dreams inside of you and that is a positive thing!

Then it hit me like a bolt of coffee…

I need to pay my bills. I need to return this email. I need to take the car in for an oil change. I need…. I need…. I need…. and I would fill up my whole day with NEEDING to do stuff. Blah.

Life = A long, boring list of things to get done.

I need (okay, bear with me!) to start WANTING the life that I have or make changes in my life. I do love my life and even saying, “I want to pay my bills” for example, brings about gratitude and a bit of excitement. I have money. I have bills.  I have electricity and water and a car to pay for. These are true blessings. I also want to buy food and I love going to work! I want my life!

Here’s the other thing for any of you woo-woo people (okay, this whole post is woo-woo really!): needing brings about a scarcity or lack mentality and because wanting offers us a positive emotion it actually brings about an abundance mentality, such as gratitude. (Chew on that for a minute!)

We make ourselves out to be such martyrs in our society with all the things we NEED to do and we feel GUILT when we WANT. (Yes, I’m preaching to the MOM CHOIR!)

What if it was okay to want and then to eliminate the word need in your daily life? How would your life look if you wanted to return emails, pay bills, save money, make dinner, spend time with family?

BOTTOM LINE: Let yourself want your life. Try and eliminate the word need. You don’t need to do anything. Wake up with a bounce in your step and WANT the crap out of the life you have chosen for yourself.

 

Coach.

The Sh*t Train to Integrity

Shit Train to Integrity

I want to offer some of my personal insights on integrity.

You may think integrity is morals. Having good morals. Being a good person. This is maybe what the dictionary says, but this post ain’t on having good morals or being a good person.

This is about the integrity you have with keeping your word, and in my opinion, it’s even bigger than keeping your word with others.

It’s about keeping your word with yourself – which I believe is more important than keeping your word with others.

Sometimes I feel I’m on a slow struggling SH*T Train to Integrity!

Let me share.

I woke up yesterday hating myself. Like, literally, mad, angry, upset, frustrated with myself. Sitting in a bath of self-loathing. Feeling unworthy, feeling stressed, feeling like total sh*t. Have you ever had a day like that?

I honestly rarely wake up feeling like that, but yesterday was one of those days. I want to say I woke up on the wrong side of bed, but that’s just a cop-out.

The next day, I went for a run. Running is usually how I work through my problems, my form of meditation; so I started digging deep. Why was I hating myself so much this morning? What happened to bring this on from the moment I woke up?

And then a few steps later it came to me, as the answers usually do when you ask.

I was not keeping my word with myself. I had made a plan on Friday morning to complete a specific project for work. All my projects are self-imposed because I’m self-employed. For me, it would be easier to have a real boss some days because I’m the perfect “yes” man! That’s my people pleasing disease still coming back to haunt me. I guess I’m not quite out of rehab yet. I find it easier to do everything for everyone else than to put myself first sometimes.

So Friday came and went. Then Saturday, I wanted to complete my project again. Self-sabotage endured. It took form in finishing half a season of Nashville on Netflix. If I’m being totally truthful, that was my way of hitting bottom. Usually by the time Netflix comes out, I’m already so mad at myself, that I just want to hide and crawl in my cave and get lost in other people’s problems as a way of avoiding my own. Nashville is a great show full of other people’s problems!

I realized Sunday on my run, that it wasn’t just the project I had not done. I realized that I had not completed my whole list of things (including working out on Friday and Saturday) that I set out to do that day. This entire list maybe would have taken 5 hours of my day in total, and I still would have been able to spend the rest of the day with my family. So what happened?

I had not set boundaries with myself.

I had not kept my word with myself.

I let my feelings run wild to decide what I “felt” like doing, and trust me, when left to our feelings of what we want to do, your days will probably end up like sh*t too! I’m sure most of us “feel” like doing nothing most of the time, or at minimum taking the easy way out. We don’t want pain and we sure as heck don’t want to work.

Sunday was an awesome day. I got off the Sh*t Train! I woke up early, planned my day, went for a run and got started on my list. I got everything on my little list done and felt like a million bucks! I kept my word with myself AND I even had enough time to take a Sunday afternoon nap outside for a few minutes and it was freakin’ glorious!

Doing something you said you were going to do, keeping a promise to yourself feels so damn good! It puts you in a happy state, a higher vibrational state, a deeply joyful state. This isn’t just for your benefit, this benefits others around you.

This is what you were called to do: SHINE.  You shine by being proud of yourself!  Trust me, the moments I’m so damn proud of myself I know I’m inspiring others to do the same. So be proud of yourself, complete your to-do list or whatever words or goals you promised yourself.

This also goes for making money, growing your money and keeping your money. You need to keep your word with the financial goals you set for yourself.

Isn’t it funny how when you save money, regardless of the amount, you feel like a million bucks?!

Set boundaries with yourself and others so that you can complete what you set out for yourself. Say NO when you have to.

Light is contagious my friends! When you are a light you will shine and brighten others around you. This is what lights were called to do: Brighten.

BOTTOM LINE: Keep your word with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you can nurture. Integrity with yourself will allow you to be proud of yourself and then you SHINE!

Financial.

Back-to-School: 7 Financial Tips for Parents

Parents Prepare Finanially for Back to School

This time of year I embark on my love/hate relationship with back-to-school. The kids going back to school sounds like a choir of angels singing music to my ears compared to the current airwaves of sibling warmongering. That’s my love part.

The hate part is the endless money drain that September always seems to bring with it. I feel like after 5 years of getting these same bills over and over I should know better, but they keep taking me by surprise. School fees, school supplies, bus transportation, fun lunch, field trips, school fundraising (those dang entertainment books always get me!) And oh yeah, don’t forget dance, piano, hockey, and accordion lessons are all starting up again too! Requests for money are everywhere!

I find recurring expenses, like the water bill, easy to plan for and budget for, but it’s all the one-time expenses that are hard to plan for, especially when you aren’t exactly sure what amount is being thrown at you.

So enough is enough.

Here are 7 Back-to-School Financial Tips for Parents:

Tip#1 – Write out a list of approximately what you think all the school bills due in the month of September will amount to and total them up.

My list looks like this:

School Fees: $300

Bus Transportation: $450

Fun Lunch: $110

Fundraisers: $40

Choir: $600

Piano: $250

Total: $1,750 or $146 a month.

Then, take this total and divide by 12 to figure out what you need on a monthly basis to save up.  It’s a lot easier for me to save $146 a month, versus spending $1750 all in one month. This works for Christmas gifts too!

What’s important about this strategy is that you are being pro-active and not re-active. This is a calming strategy. This is making decisions ahead of time and totally reduces your stress.

As simple as this may seem, and we all know this head knowledge, doing it is another story entirely. So just spend 5 minutes and do this. I do this on a sticky note. So it doesn’t have to be fancy.

TRY IT!

Tip #2 – Create a free sub-account for your kids

I have a sub-account (the free e-accounts at your bank) that I nickname: Kids. In this kids account, I keep all my specific payment for kids in that account. (And for my kids their monthly RESP and Life & Critical Illness Insurance Payments come out of that account as well.) I also get my government payments into this account, that way, I don’t have to worry if there is money in that account for all the automatic payments.

Plus I have cheques for this account, so when I write cheques to the school (yes, our school still takes cheques – YIKES!), then I don’t have to worry about them getting mixed up in my regular household account. Who wants the embarrassing call that you bounced a cheque for $20 because you weren’t paying attention to that account! Not me. Been there, done that.

Tip#3 – Look for discounts on school supplies or reuse from last year.

I find kids bring home so many supplies that they haven’t used. I’m sure I have a drawer of 30 erasers, 17 rulers, and a bazillion pencils and a shoebox of pencil crayons or buy school supplies on clearance in October for the next school year.

Tip#4 – Pre-plan lunches!

I always get caught not having lunch foods in my house. So, I’m the one at the corner convenience store buying Lunchables for double the price late on a school night. So a little pre-planning on my end would probably pay for my expensive latte habit anyways!

Tip#5 – Start saving toward your RESP.

I can’t believe how fast kids grow up and I just realized my kids are about 10 years away from university. CRAY! So, to make sure you aren’t super stressed about post-secondary education, make sure to start saving $50 or $100 a month to your child’s RESP.  The government will add 20% and some provincial governments add a few other bonuses, depending on where you live.

Tip #6 – Research financial aid if you need it.

I do know in my province that lower income families do get certain subsidies towards school or transportation costs. So, it may be helpful to talk to your school and find out what subsidies are available.

Tip#7 – Get your kids involved.

Show your kids the cost of their education and all the activities they part-take in. Even if it rolls over them, it’s important to show them that there’s a cost.  The word cost seems to have a negative connotation for most people, and kids pick up on that. So maybe even explain it as a way of trading or exchanging something of value for something of equal value. You can also get your kids to work a summer job or do extra work around home or the office and put it towards a fun trip or activity that they want to do.

Coach.

Making Decisions

Decisions Decisions

Decisions! Decisions! What to wear? What to study? What to read? What to eat? What heels to wear?

A serious love/hate relationship there.

I love that I’m free to make decisions. I hate that I actually have to make them.

Sound familiar?

This morning already: I’ve had to decide what to wear, how to do my hair (or not do my hair!), what coffee to drink, what to eat for breakfast, and then figure out what I’m going to write on this very blog, then master craft word by word to this page. No wonder by noon on most days my brain is fried from making millions of small, somewhat insignificant decisions. I feel like I suffer from decision-making-hangovers somedays. Are you feelin’ what I’m sayin’?

Why is decision-making so difficult most of the time?

I know this problem all too well. The problem for me is constantly seeking the approval of others and the fear of failing. Maybe you can relate, or maybe your decision-making problem stems from not knowing what you really want.

If you fall into the camp of constantly seeking the approval of others then you are in good company.

For us camped out at “approval camp”, we need approval for almost all big life decisions and we rarely trust our own intuition. If we ever do venture out and make a mistake and fail, or make a decision that no one “approved” of and fail, then we feel that failure is branded on us for the rest of our lives. Of course, it is not really like this.

Making decisions, including financial decisions, are a lot like this. We feel we need the approval of others. We feel we need to be doing what our neighbors are doing so that when we fail, we know they failed too. It’s kinda like failure hurts less when you know it’s happened to everyone involved. You are off the hook and don’t have to take emotional responsibility for your failed issues.

I think time has come for most of us at “approval camp” to check out of checking in with others on all our decisions.

You have your own guidance system that is perfectly tuned into your channel, your desires. It’s time to tune in and listen for that inner guidance that won’t lead you astray, and stop asking your aunt’s neighbor’s daughter’s therapist who keeps cow dung on her mantle because it “looked” like the Virgin Mary for advice.

Practice making decisions on your own. You don’t need the input of others for your life. It’s a skill and skills requires practice, such as playing the piano or learning German.

Here’s the deal with decision making: just make the freakin’ decision already!

Make the decision to succeed. Make the decision to financially succeed.

Trust me! You will feel instantly better you did!

The beautiful thing is this: you don’t need to know the how. I still don’t know the how for so many of my big decisions. None of us do, really.

We are like the golden brick road layers. We lay one brick at a time. Brick by brick, stone by stone, we take a step on the path in the general direction to what we seek, to our goal. Only after we have laid many bricks, and have taken many steps do we look back and see the long road we’ve traveled.

2 Simple Steps You Can Take After Decision Making

Simple Step #1 – Declare Your Decision!

The first step that you need to take after you have made a decision is to write down what you want. This is your way of declaring to the world this is what you want. This is crucial to your success. Having it written down, or typed into your phone or on your computer is so important. You need to be reminded of your decisions. They don’t stick automatically and will be something you need to be reminded of and work toward every day.

Simple Step #2 – Schedule The Crap Out Of It!

One of the skills that I’ve learned in regards to decision making is to schedule them in your calendar once you have made them. That’s the first part of this equation. Then the second part is honoring yourself, by honoring your calendar.

This is usually a big part of most self-development and business courses I’ve taken in the past. Scheduling. It seems so simple, but we rarely do it. Myself included. I’m going to begin (again, for the millionth time) to write down and schedule the most important commitments. This does include saving money. Write down the date on your calendar that you want to save money on and how much. Remember, what gets scheduled gets done!

BOTTOM LINE: Make your decisions, declare them and then schedule them in. This quote sums it up best!

“The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love them!” – Marie Forleo

Financial.

When Investments Go Bad

When Investments Go Bad

3 Money Hugs For Investments Gone Bad

I’ve seen things go bad before in my life. I’m not just talking about the vegetables in my fridge, the rotting food I found under my daughter’s bed (which finally explains that smell!), Rhianna & Beyoncé having to actually tell their fans to put down the Pokemon at their concerts, or watching Pokemon people walk right into oncoming traffic to catch Pikachu. That’s bad and I don’t mean Michael Jackson bad either.

Things go bad sometimes. This is life. Or as my Opa would say, “Wie stinken die Tomaten!” Which loosely translates to something about stinking tomatoes. Although my German is bad at best, I got the just of it every time he said it!

I will also admit that sometimes I feel bad for psychologists and pastors. Every time they meet someone new, people tend to verbally spew out all their problems, and vomit all their tales of woe to them. It’s like asking for a free counselling session right there in the middle of the cocktail party or cafe.

And poor doctors and nurses….I’m sure I’ve even been at fault for this at parties, as I throw my foot up on the table, “Does this look like a wart to you?” (It wasn’t a wart…just to clarify!)

However, I did not realize when I became a financial coach years ago that I would come upon a similar plague or occupational hazard when I meet new people and tell them what I do for a living.

Instead of hearing about gout in your big toe, your crazy Aunt Martha leaving your Uncle Dexter, or how you can’t sleep at night because you fear for spiders crawling into your mouth, I get stuck with hearing about every bad investment that you or your family or friends have EVER MADE!

I’ve actually started keeping a mental journal of all the stories I hear from people I’ve just met!

These last few months alone, I’ve heard these from random strangers where our conversations lasted under 3.5 minutes:

  • lost entire retirement savings when given to brother to invest
  • lost house to fire years ago and didn’t have insurance
  • re-mortgaged house and lost it on a single investment
  • lost money in a land deal gone bad from “irregular accounting”
  • sorry, got no money – lent it all to family members and will never see a dime of it again
  • spent all my money on PokeCoins

Why is it we feel comfortable telling total strangers all our deep dark secrets? Clearly, that’s a topic for another day.

3 Money Hugs

Today, I want to offer 3 money hugs to those who have ever lost money on a bad investment.

Money Hug #1 – You had faith. You took action.

Having lost money on something means that you were willing to invest or try something new and you had faith and believed in an idea so much that you put your money where your mouth is. Even though it didn’t work out, you learned something.

This investment taught you something, whether it was how not to do something in the future, or to research more next time you put your money into an investment, or for the simple fact that you were willing to be the “wind beneath the wings” – to allow a project or idea to grow, fly and see it take off.

Losing money means that you tried something, and you were right to try. True, you didn’t get your desired outcome, but you did your half of the equation, which you MUST do if you want anything in life.

Your half is the try. The part that you control is the try. It is the effort put forth; the action taken. If you didn’t try, you wouldn’t be anywhere right now. One day an investment will go right and you will be glad you did invest and you did your part of the equation.

Don’t feel bad about your failed investment either. Take that guilt and shove it where the sun don’t shine. It’s not helpful to you in any way.

Money Hug #2 – You helped someone.

Even if you didn’t help someone, you helped society/humanity in some way.

All money goes toward our collective increase as a society. Think about it for a second. All investments or businesses need capital to run. You are investing in something that provides jobs for others, and even if that company goes bankrupt, or that land deal goes bad; that money did go somewhere, it fed someone.

You can make up whatever good or bad story about where that money went in your head, but do yourself a favour, and just trust what you sent out into the world went to work toward a good intention. You contributed to something bigger than yourself. It had to create value in some way, otherwise you probably wouldn’t have invested in the first place. Remember, money isn’t good or bad, it just is. Money needs to circulate to do its job.

Money Hug #3 – It was a bad investment, not a life sentence.

You can and will be able to make money as long as you are of sound mind. (Okay, I see you want to plead the 5th here on your mental competency, but if you are reading this, you probably have a sound mind and aren’t reading this from your rubber room.)

You can rebuild. You can create. You can have the life you desire. But you can’t do that with all your negative extra baggage you carry around with you from your bad experience. I have clients that were in bad investments in their past and they haven’t let it go. I have other clients that have moved on, cut their losses, and didn’t let the bad investment get to them. Blame will not serve you as you try to rebuild. Try forgiveness instead.

Remember, if you are really putting yourself out there and going after your dreams or have a desire to make money, you will most likely at some point in time stumble upon failure.

I have had many investments go bad over the years, and I’ve learned from every one of them. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them, and I wouldn’t be able to understand what it’s like to lose a lot of money without having gone through it first-hand. I also know that as I continue to build my business and invest, I realize that I will again at some point in the future come across one or more investment failures.

Investing in life is part of the game of life, and I refuse to be on the sidelines!

(On that note, I’ve also considered telling people that I work as an undertaker at my next party, I wonder what stories I will hear then! 😉 )

BOTTOM LINE: Bad investments happen to good people. Bad investments don’t make you bad or a failure. Bad investments mean you tried, you took action, and you also helped someone or created value for someone. Bad investments are not a life sentence, and you can, and you will recover from them! There is also one investment that never goes bad, you will never lose any money and you get back only happiness in return: FREE HUGS! Call me today for yours! 🙂

Manifest.

Walk Away

Walk Away

WHEN IT’S TIME TO WALK AWAY

There is a time for everything under the sun. This includes a time to walk away.

I’m not sharing today about the times in our life when we really need to leave a bad situation or close a chapter in our books because they no longer serve us or grow us as people. These seasons most definitely come and I know and you know they are hard seasons to walk through.

My message today is something a little different.

It’s about walking away from thoughts that don’t serve you.

Months back I shared the story of the shoe girl that I adapted from one of my mentor’s stories, Earl Nightingale.  You can click here to read that post because that story illustrates this point as well.

Today, I will share another story to illustrate my point on thoughts.

Once upon a time, there live a beautiful, smart girl. One day, this girl decided she was going to wake up at 5am, write her blog, work-out, buy her favorite latte on the way into work, have a kick-ass day working with her team. She created the feelings and the life she wanted – positive, happy, beautiful, and uplifting. Other’s around her felt her joyful spirit and heart. And it was so.

In a nearby kingdom, there lived another beautiful, smart girl. One day, this girl woke up on the wrong side of bed, and stubbed her toe and complained about her bad sleep. She was grouchy from the moment she woke up and said things like “I know today’s going to be a bad day.” She threw herself in her car and went to work, begrudgingly got a coffee, and everything she seemed to touch at work went wrong. She created the feelings and the life she wanted – negative, unhappy, and miserable. And it was so.

If you believe and understand that your thoughts are like magnets and are attracting themselves, because “that which is like unto itself is drawn” – then you know that you are in charge of all of your thoughts (no one else can put a thought into your head). You are also in charge of all your feelings (again, you are in control of how you feel). You know that you are the person who gets to create the life that you want to live, feel how you want to feel and think what you want to think. WHAT A WONDERFUL THING!

(OH – and a big FYI: Simple as this may seem, “Most People” believe that they have no control over their feelings and that feelings happen to them (like a child – my children haven’t learned this yet!). To these people, life just happens to them, they don’t deliberately create a life they want…..just food for thought.)

Whether or not you choose to believe me, you are attracting to you right now. The only difference is that some people actually take control of their thoughts and deliberately direct them into useful and positive ways, others simply let their feelings dictate how their day is going to go.

Knowing that you can choose your thoughts, maybe it’s time to walk away from thoughts that don’t serve you.

Do any of these ring true for you?

“It’s going to be a bad day?”

“I feel poor.”

“The world is hopeless.”

“Things are so bad right now.”

“I’ll never be able to do it.”

“I hate all that is going on in the world right now.”

None of these statements serve you. They don’t help you grow or move toward the life you want to live. Do you see how one negative thought can manifest or expand into your reality and show up in unwanted ways?

Here is my remedy to stop a negative thought:

  1. Stop the thought by quoting Shakespeare “Out, damn’d Thought!” (Get it?! Macbeth?! High School?!)
  2. Make the biggest fakest cheeziest SMILE that you can make.
  3. Take a SELFIE of that biggest fakest cheeziest SMILE that you make.
  4. Then laugh out loud – YES, LOL at yourself.
Demonstration of the BIGGEST FAKEST CHEEZIEST SMILE while writing my blog post!

Demonstration of the BIGGEST FAKEST CHEEZIEST SMILE while writing my 5am blog post!

Notice after following those simple 4 steps, you have turned your negative thought away. Okay, my method may not be the most clinical method, and other methods are perfectly acceptable – I won’t judge.  Even if you create your own method to ward off negative thoughts – just make sure to follow through.

Half of the battle is recognizing that you are having a negative thought.

Also, if you can’t identify a negative thought, then look towards how you are feeling.

Typically, for most of us it works like this:

Negative Thought = Bad Feeling

Positive Thought = Good Feeling

This helps when you are identifying a negative thought pattern and will guide you in figuring out what negative thought caused you to feel bad to begin with.

Bottom Line: Stop adding to your negative thoughts. Walk away from the thoughts that don’t serve you. They won’t serve you on your journey to financial health, physical health, mental health, or relationship health. If you are on social media, make a point to only share positive stories or words of encouragement.

 

Coach.

Women I Know

Small Purse

This is a story of my friend. She is like so many women I know.

She is a lovely, wonderful human being. Someone you’d want to drink wine with, travel with and laugh with. Someone that is pleasant, funny, caring, and deeply loving. Someone that you’d want to spend your time with. She is like so many women I know.

She puts others first. She is organized. She is intentional. She works hard. She is not entitled. She is like so many women I know.

She takes care of her family. She puts them first. She is love and light to so many people. She is like so many women I know.

She is in great health. She exercises and eats well. She is beautiful inside and out. She is like so many women I know.

She lives in a beautiful home, styled just to her liking. She has a reliable newer car that she loves. She has a designer handbag. She always looks well put together. She is like so many women I know.

She has a job. She has a great career. She makes good money when she wants to. She has a small pension somewhere. She has saved a little. She has benefits. She bought life insurance. She is like so many women I know. She carries with her something she never puts down. She sometimes wakes up with this and goes to bed with it. It is like a small purse. A small purse that is with her always and over time begin to feels heavy. She holds the purse in one arm, leaving the other arm to work with, and when one arm gets tired, she switches sides, however, one hand is always busy. It’s annoying.  She has a great life, and yet she can’t seem to put down this small purse.

She carries with her an invisible heaviness she never puts down. She sometimes wakes up with this and goes to bed with it. It is like a small purse filled with heavy weights. A small handbag that is with her always, and over time she dresses it up and makes it look beautiful. Sometimes she trades it in for a designer clutch only to mask the heaviness she carries. She holds the purse in one arm, leaving the other arm to work with, and when one arm gets tired, she switches sides, however, one hand is always busy holding her heavy clutch. It’s annoying. She has a great life, and yet she can’t seem to empty or put down this heavy bag.

In that small purse is…

Shame.

Shame in feeling that she is not good enough. Perhaps shame in many areas of her life, or perhaps just one. Shame surrounding her financial mess.  Shame around money.  Shame around making too much or too little. Shame around saving too little.  Shame in feeling like she is not where she is “suppose to be”. She is like so many women I know.

How do I help my friend put down her small purse, or your large suitcase of shame. There is no shame in asking for help. There is no shame in starting from scratch or starting from zero. Everything starts from nothing.

Is shame keeping you from your dreams?

For my friends, my ladies, my girls, my babes…..listen very carefully. There is no shame in starting to invest at age 30. There is no shame in starting to invest or save or plan at age 50. There is no shame in this. There is no shame in asking for help, guidance, or mentorship. I say this as a person who has been there before.

What makes me an expert on shame? I feel shame. I feel shame that my business is not where I want it to be at. I’m not making as much money yet as I plan. I’m not cash flowing my millions yet (I was “supposed” to at 30). I also know that it will take time. It takes planning. It takes help, guidance, mentors and surrounding myself with a great team of people. I’m working on it. I’ll admit it.

I know why most people go to a faceless bank or invest online or don’t seek the help they need and invite an actual human relationship to help them financially or otherwise. It is because you don’t really have to show anyone that you have no money (or the money that you think you should have); that you aren’t really where you want to be financially at your age. (This goes for anything in your life: fitness, spiritual, relationship, business, etc.)

I know right now that I’m writing this not just for one friend, but for so many women I know. You need to hear this message. This message is for you. Don’t worry about the Joneses, because the Joneses are worried about the other Joneses down the street. Just worry about you.

I want you to get all that you want from this life, and yes, that does mean money.

For you my friend, today, whether you are 23, 33, 43, 53, or 63, as long as you are breathing it is never too late to learn more about how YOUR money works, and to make sure YOU are on YOUR right path to what YOU want from life.

Don’t let shame keep you from reaching your dreams.

Get yourself a cheerleader who believes in you, who wants to see you succeed and exceed all your dreams. Find someone who sees you for how great you are, and not just where you are.  Take small steps and set up an appointment with whomever will help you get there.

BOTTOM LINE: Turn your cute designer handbag full SHAME and flip it over and empty it out – then fill that cute designer handbag full of dreams and money to fund them! Take the one simple action today toward getting your financial house in order. You’ve got this!

Financial.

Spending Vs. Investing

Spending Vs Investing

One of my all time favourite podcasts to listen to is Brooke Castillo. She is an amazing life coach and I can’t lie, I’m totally addicted!

She had this amazing blurb on saving and investing that I want to share with you.

These are my notes from her talk:

Every time you make a purchase you are either spending or investing. Both are important.

Spending money means it is gone. There is no financial return coming to you (although, yes, you clearly will have some enjoyment from your purchase). Investing money means it has the potential to make you money in the future.

Here are two questions to ask yourself every time you are making a purchase:

Does the money you are spending have the potential to make money in the future?

Or is it a spend that is just worth the money?

If it is neither, then walk away.

You should have a nice balance of both spending and investing.

Here are a few of my favorite spends:

  • a nice new pair of stilettos
  • buying a treat for my girls
  • traveling absolutely anywhere
  • a latte from my favourite cafe
  • my sports car

Here are some of my favorite investments:

  • my iPhone 6S
  • my laptop
  • my life coach and business coaching
  • books that enrich my life
  • traveling to conferences or to learn more about something

BOTTOM LINE: Spending and Investing are both important. Investing in yourself doesn’t always have to mean saving money. Spending money doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Balance is important.