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Leadership.

H.O.T. Leadership

Would you follow you?

I’m currently contributing a chapter to a book on women’s mentorship and leadership, and as I’m writing this chapter for this book, I find myself in a constant state of query – questioning EVERYTHING I know about leadership.

Like, what really makes a leader?

I’ve read hundreds of books, taken the courses – heck, I even remember being part of the H.O.T. Leadership Team in Grade 5 – which stood for Helping Others Together – however, the only thing HOT about being chosen was Jeff Hill, whom I had a major crush on, plus we got to go on a field trip together and skip school, which clearly made leadership look super HOT.

I feel like leadership is this buzz word in the working world, that to me, quite frankly, means fudge all. (Who doesn’t have “Leadership Skills” on their LinkedIn profile?!)

Let me tell you why…

I did this leadership course a few years back, and one of the exercises was to interview others about you and get true feedback on how you show up in the world.

I hated this exercise. Most people pleasers do (because we immediately want to make the other person happy and please them so they like us.)

But what I hate more is being told what I need to work on, when in fact, I already intuitively know this.

As an adult, (and I caveat that with as an adult who is over 30! I think children do need guidance in this area more so, but even then…) I know exactly where my shortcomings are. I know my strength and weaknesses. I work on them all the time with my life coach, and with my plethora army of business, health & relationship coaches.

Maybe I’m just weird that way – maybe not.

I really do think when you look deep down you know how you are showing up in the world.

You know when you aren’t smiling enough.

You know you should be working out more.

You know you should work on your public speaking.

You know that you talk too much.

Or that you aren’t paying attention to what your soul is screaming at you and following your own path, but instead what you think others want you to do.

Here’s the deal.

You can’t change the past. I find looking there for clues usually leaves you deflated and feeling like crap and adds nothing positive to your current being in the present.

So I’m of the school of thought – why dwell on it? It’s over. Telling me to my face when I already know I screwed up or didn’t nail it on the head when I did try my best is not going to win you any favours in my book.

I think my big pet peeve here is that people are so quick to call themselves leaders and use positions of power to make you feel bad about yourself  which we listen to because they are “well-respected leaders” and we were taught to “respect the leaders”, but I think we are letting too many of NOT the right leaders into our lives.

I think most “leaders”, especially from the business world, are missing a few special ingredients which I think all leaders need to really be effective leaders.

Vulnerability. Humility.

Admitting that they suck sometimes.

And then, I think and only then, you can respect someone in a leadership position because – let’s face it – who wants to follow someone who is perfect?

I took this sales course a year ago from a guy that was very well-paid leadership expert on sales and marketing.

I walked out of that day-long seminar and felt a few things.

  1. He totally came off to me that he was better at sales than anyone else. (Not a great way to get followers…)
  2. He totally didn’t resonate with me at all because of this and I felt he treated a room full of adults almost like children – telling us the rules of how to sell, making us think through our sales process instead of feeling our way through or trusting our own instincts. (When did any sales call ever go according to a script or a step by step plan?!)

Okay, to be fair, I know lots of people, especially men, may need the step by step plan if their brains are wired that way. But, you try to tell an intuitive woman who has run her business for 17 years following her gut to start following some sales protocol?

HELL NO!

I do business, as I do life, as I do anything, from my gut – from my intuition, from figuring out what will work for my life and not yours.

I am so proud that over the last few years I have finally stopped listening to EVERYONE full bore and just followed my own path.

I think so many leaders out there are trying to get you to follow their path, their systems, their past – on how they climbed Mount Everest or made a million dollars in business, but that was then, for them – it’s not now, for you.

You need to look within.  Always. And Trust.

God gave you a specific purpose. He didn’t want you to be someone’s puppet.

Take this from someone who has been MANY people’s puppets in the past – and if you are a people pleaser – this is you to a T.

Danielle LaPorte says it best in her new book, White Hot Truth,

You are the authority on you. Nobody knows better than you what’s right for you. NOBODY. Final say? All you. No matter what…. All that experts (leaders) offer you is data for you to take into consideration. You are the centrifugal force that must filter, interpret, and give meaning to that data. Your body knows. Your heart knows. Your mind will help you act on what you know. My guiding philosophy about any philosophy is: Take what you want and leave the rest.“

So, with that – how do you mentor others? How do you become a leader?

Easy.

Be FIRST.

Meaning, declare yourself a leader and start acting like it. BE what you want to be and be it with your whole heart, mind & soul and I guarantee you will show up in the world exactly as you see yourself (no stupid leadership interviews or a course to tell you that!)

When you are following your truth and living from your truth you don’t need to know or really care about what others think!

There will always be haters, and nit-pickers and people who think it should be done another way – screw them. Don’t listen. Choose the leaders you follow based on what is aligned for you.

Let’s face it. There are a million gurus to follow out there.

I personally have my mastermind of about 6 women (yes, my ultimate gurus are all women coincidently – only because I resonate with them) and when I say I would follow these women to the ends of the earth and off a bridge – I probably would. The rest, I can tune out.

(I guess there’s Jesus too… so that throws off the whole woman thing 🙂 – however….

You get to pick and choose what you want from who you want and throw out the rest. That’s the beauty of life.

Here’s the bottom line: To be an effective leader you have to be following your true path and lead from alignment with what is true to your soul. Sorry, my friends, there is no instruction manual that you were born with, although we so badly want to have one and feel it would make life so easy. This is what faith and trust are for. It’s why there is no handbook to how you should live your life and the choices you need to make every step of the way. You must tune in and see what is right for you and not anyone else. Step out in faith.

Those who step out in faith, follow their own path, with humble heart, lead people naturally.

xx

 

 

PS. I called my company Ellements Group because I believe we already all have the elements within us we need to create financial clarity and fund our dreams. If you want to continue to explore your financial journey & step out in faith regarding your money, then check out financialbliss.ca and become part of this growing community of leaders and get my FREE 25 Magnificent Money Tips Cheat Sheet There!

PPS. And if you are ready to take the next step, ask me about my Wealth Spa Get Started Money Package on sale for $250!

 

Coach.

Point of Attraction

Yesterday, I had my best wake surf ever!

I even did a little dance on the surf board.

Dancing & Surfing.

Heaven.

I’m so proud of myself for always being willing & open minded to try new things and push myself to do the uncomfortable – knowing full well that wiping out (literally) is a REAL possibility.

There is no better feeling than being proud of yourself.

I know I talk about this a lot – all we are really chasing at the end of the day is feelings, good feelings: LOVE, HAPPY, PROUD, ABUNDANT, JOY.

Let’s be clear here, sometimes being proud of ourselves comes easy, but definitely not all the time.

One area I struggle with is MONEY! Shocking right?!?

I’m so hard on myself for not being where I want to be financially.

Can you relate?

Or relate to not being proud of yourself in one key area of your life – such as your health, relationships, etc??

And so what do you think happens when we are hard on ourselves about where we ‘should’ be?

Yes, you know the answer.

We draw more of that to ourselves.

Law of Attraction attracts more of the un-love, the hating of ourselves, the shame, guilt, lack, and scarcity – it all comes back to us in droves and digs the vicious cycle deeper.

Been there.

Done that.

Have a closet full of the T-shirts.

So how do we pivot to create what we really want in life?

The only way to attract what you want more of is to change your point of attraction.

  • Feeling broke or worried about money? Start counting your assets & all that you’ve been blessed with!
  • Want more love in your life? Start loving on all the people that cross your path – like crazy!
  • Want a new relationship? Start loving yourself like crazy. (No one wants a needy partner!)
  • Ready to release the excess weight or want your health back? Start to see yourself as the person you’re on your way to becoming!
  • Want your partner/spouse to shape up or ship out? Then BE the FIRST to LOVE them like crazy!
  • Want to be an author, artist, famous, successful, politician? BE THAT NOW – embrace it now.

See, most people have it wrong.

They think they need to DO to HAVE and then BECOME.

But in reality, you need to declare and BE (& become) first on the inside so it can begin to radiate out of you, then you will DO the work to HAVE what you really want.

Mindset is everything – and that is how the law of attraction really works.

So the feelings you are chasing – LOVE, PROUD, JOY, ABUNDANT, HAPPY…..

Find that in yourself first – and more of it shall be given to you.

I will repeat.

FIND THAT WHICH YOU SEEK IN YOURSELF FIRST.

It shall be given to you in ABUNDANCE.

xx

 

 

PS.  If you are wanting to change your point of attraction and are serious about your wealth health, I’m offering my Wealth Spa Get Started Package for $250 (plus gst) right now.  Message me for details or email me at lisa@ellementsgroup.com

 

 

 

 

Estate.

Hard Conversations

It’s a little nudge. The quiet voice. That something on your to-do list. The thing you know you NEED to do, but you still haven’t done it.

A conversation on “what happens when I’m gone.”

Seems nobody likes to talk about it. We don’t like being faced with our mortality.

It doesn’t bother me. Mostly because I’m completely ready for death – which frees me up to LIVE and not be worried.

I plan on living to 110. Seriously. I will move heaven and earth to make that happen, but hey, if God has other plans, then so be it.

So I have my will, power of attorney, personal directive.

I have loads of life insurance.

I have spreadsheets about 10-pages long listing absolutely EVERYTHING I manage, that actually are up-to-date.

I can’t preach from my very core, or write my next book without having done this stuff myself.

I can’t already tell some of you won’t read this because the thought of dying almost literally scares you to death;  you’re not ready to face death yet, and that’s okay – when you are ready – read my next book – it will be out by then….

But I will say, the peaceful feeling that you have made your last wishes known to your family is one of the best gifts you can give them.

Let me say it again:

The best gift you can give the people you love the most on this planet is to let them know your last wishes, from the assets to how you want your remains handled.

It’s real my loves, it’s real life. You know it.

I’m watching my dearest family members walk through the recent loss of their loved ones, and in the same breath, beautiful new babies born into our family.

It’s life and it’s beautiful.

However, when someone we love passes away, even for the closest of families, it usually brings fighting, discord, and pain.

Many times relationships are wrecked for the rest of this earthly life.

All because one thing didn’t happen.

A conversation.

A conversation about death.

A conversation about the reality, the day-to-day stuff that happens upon death.

A conversation that best involves the entire family.

A conversation that only needs to take 5-minutes or 15-minutes. (There’s the 10-second grouchy-old-man version – cremation, throw my ashes in the lake and give all my stuff to my dog, Arnold. And then there’s Lisa Elle’s End-of-Life-Extravaganza Black-Tie-Event with a party planner and everything…just saying – it’s going to be a thing, but in reality, you’ll all be dead, because I’ll be 110, and well, none of you reading this now will be there… so the plan goes…)

But we aren’t having these conversations because they are tough.

And because we can’t stomach the tough conversations, it leads to more turmoil for our loved ones.

Okay, fast forward and now you think you have all your ducks in a row – maybe some life insurance and a will, etc. Maybe you’ve even told everyone in your family what to do when you are gone.

Listen to this:

Just recently, I know a few estates of some friends and some family members where I know they would have benefitted IMMENSELY from a 1-hour conversation with a CFP or Estate Planner. But they didn’t.

I hate HATE knowing I could have saved hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes on these estates by simply having a 1-hour conversation. I hate knowing I should have spoken up. Maybe it’s on me to learn how to be a bit more pushy, and ask the hard questions.

This is why.

Nothing really is simple anymore.

  • You live in a province with probate tax – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You have a regular family with 3 ex-wives, multiple children from different relationships – you NEED to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You have minor children – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You have disabled children of ANY AGE – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You have no kids – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You are married, or living common law or not married – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You own assets in other countries or have close family in other countries – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.

Oh, and if you don’t fall into one of those categories – I really can’t help you. At all. Because you are outta this world – literally.

My point.

EVERYONE can benefit from a conversation with a CFP or Estate Planner.

Need to quickly clarify: Estate Planner is someone who specialized in this area – not all lawyers and accountants do this, CFP’s or TEP (Trust & Estate Practitioners) do this. Look for one of those. We can pull the plan together and pull in lawyers and accountants as needed depending upon what you specifically need for your estate. NOTE: YOUR CORNER BANK DOES NOT DO THIS. This is something you need a fiduciary for.

Plus, this crap changes every time Justin changes his sexy hair. Meaning, what you plan today is not the same as tomorrow’s new proposed government budget and changes to tax law. So best to have a relationship with someone who you can review your plan with as well every few years!

So what started out as a nudge that is inside of you, is now me giving you a SPANK and YELLING at you to get this stuff dealt with (not in a kinky way of course….more so in my MOMMY VOICE YELLING AT MY CHILDREN!)

YOUR NEW TO-DO LIST:

  1. Get a will. Spend the money – go to a lawyer. At minimum, get a template DIY will.
  2. Hire an Estate Planner.
  3. Have conversations about life after you with people you care about.

What you will save by getting an Estate Plan in place:

  • family relationships (hey – it helps!!)
  • reduce stress & worry for the people you love
  • money that goes to your family instead of to the government aka. reduce taxes (on every estate there is one consistent beneficiary!)
  • peace of mind for you so you can live your life with less worry
  • leaving a legacy of LOVE and not a SHIT SHOW

NEED I SAY MORE my beautiful loves reading this.

I do know nothing will ever go perfectly to plan, but better a plan than not.

All you really need is 1-2 HOURS of PLANNING. It can literally change the course of your family for generations to come.

I’m totally kicking your a** today.

Consider it kicked out of love.

xx

 

Here’s how I can help you with this….

  1. Talk or Message me about Wealth Spa™
  2. Check out my Get Started Money Packages
  3. Sign Up for my Money Makeover Online Course

PS. On a personal note, if I have any more friends and family tell me they don’t have wills, I’m going to march you to a lawyers office, lock you in there, or even make you draft up a will before I let you out of my sights. I think it will be my new signature move. I may need to learn some martial arts first. Now, who wants to go out for coffee with me?

PPS. Do you see the photo I posted for this post? That is my beautiful family. I would hate to see them fighting after I passed on over any of my assets or worse. (The Loewen’s are loud and strongly opinionated on a good day – I don’t need to add to that!) I don’t want to be remembered that way. I want you to insert your family photo in there and ask yourself if you want to see your family ripped apart because you didn’t share your last wishes with them. <3

 

 

Coach.

The Now You & The Future You

There’s this computer chip inside of all of us, programmed with a lifetime of past, present, and future of CRAPPY excuses for the most part. (Maybe in some of us, it may be actual chips! Maybe some Lays or Old Dutch?!)

Maybe the medical term is amygdala, located in the brain responsible for survival instincts and emotion. I know it’s there, if only from a handful of life coaches that told me that it’s there – seriously – them and probably psychologists – because we all know I didn’t pay attention in biology.

So, at least now I know who to blame for all my incompetencies & justifications, AMY. G. DALA……DAMN Bitch – just shut up already!

But it won’t.

The brain keeps going. Pumping out CRAZY ASS EXC– USES and JUSTIFICATIONS for ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!

Here’s the other crazy thing that is programmed in us. Somewhere else, no doubt.

I don’t even think they have a medical term for this, probably because it’s part of your spirit. Well, really it is your spirit, your soul.

It’s our desire to INCREASE, CREATE, to PUSH BEYOND what we are capable of, to GROW, to live INSPIRED.

If AMY is working overtime in our brains to keep us safe and rationalize everything for survival purposes, then our true spirit, our souls – the part of us that is connected to source –  is the part of us trying to grow, create, become better.

Talk about cognitive dissonance! (By this point, it may actually appear that I went to college… or have become a really good GOOGLER!)

Cognitive Dissonance is basically what I’m talking about – the state of having inconsistent thoughts, emotions, beliefs, attitudes, EVERYTHING – the internal battle we face every day!

This is where the damn rubber meets the road beautiful!

I want an ice cream, but want to lose weight.

I want some wine, but want to drink less.

I want to watch TV, but I want to run a marathon one day.

I want to SHOP, but I want to SAVE lots of money.

I don’t want to work now, but I want to retire early.

Blah, Blah, Blah – you get what I mean.

DUALITY. DICHOTOMY. LIFE IS CHOCK-FULL OF THIS FRUSTRATION!

Don’t you find that you are always stuck between the now (’cause life is short) and the future you (in case you actually do live a long life)?

But deeper still, why is it that the now side seems to almost always win? SO FRUSTRATING – are you with me?

MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION: IS IT ABOUT BALANCED LIFE (BOTH SATISFYING THE NOW & THE FUTURE SELF) or COULD IT POSSIBLY BE OKAY TO BE ONLY FUTURE FOC– USED (SATISFYING THE FUTURE YOU)?

You can really decide that for yourself and you have already. Look around you right now, look at what you created. That’s all you by the way – no one else to thank or blame.

Most people don’t even have a balance. PERIOD. They are only present focused, and nothing gets done for their future self.

So, here’s the big question….WHY?

You see, if you talk to any therapist, life coach, interviewer, etc – their favorite question is always WHY.

Then they ask you to peel back the onion layer.

But WHY?

Dig deeper…

REALLY, WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU?

And once you strip past the amygdala, and all the somewhat artificial beauty pageant answers, like family, friends, and world peace, you actually end up back at yourself, you end up at pure spirit, your true soul.

Because here’s the real WHY?

None of what we do really matters, and yet, it all matters.

(We know this deep down & that’s why we all have the internal struggle!)

HOLY CRAP – the ultimate DICHOTOMY that makes your brain FIZZLE out on overload.

It’s true. Life really is empty and meaningless. It’s what we make it mean that counts. It’s our choice to make meaning from our soul’s work – you know the stuff that lights you up – whether it is construction work, being a writer or helping people.

SO put that in your pipe and smoke it – literally (not physically, I don’t actually own an old-man-pipe, but would be cool…)

HOW DO YOU WANT TO LIVE & CREATE YOUR LIFE?

These are the options available to you:

  • A) Past Focused
  • B) Present Focused
  • C) Future Focused
  • D) ALL OF THE ABOVE or SOME OF THE ABOVE

It’s your choice my dear, and frankly, no one can give a damn for you, only you can give a damn for yourself. Unfortunately, that’s how this life thing works – you need to care enough about yourself, love yourself enough, and create your purpose for yourself. No one else can do it for you. (I think we wish they could!)

I’d also say this: FOLLOW YOUR TRUE SPIRIT & SOUL’S PURPOSE & SHUT THE MONKEY BRAIN (AMY.G.DALA) UP!

If faced with the DICHOTOMY within – CHOOSE YOUR TRUE SPIRIT (which by the way, will be FUTURE FOC– USED!)

The AMYGDALA (Monkey Brain) is PAST & PRESENT FOC– USED! (This is where we reside most!)

For me, I’m like, SCREW IT – I’m going all in – FUTURE FOC– USED. It’s the only way I’m going to be able to create the dream, the picture, the vision I have in my head for my life.

What are you creating?

xx

PS. If you are serious about living with a little or a lottle future focused, then make sure to sign up for my 25 MONEY TIPS CHEAT SHEET to get you started!  HERE —>  https://financialbliss.ca

Coach.

How to Shine Like a Lighthouse!

Stop identifying with your past.

STOP IT!

You weren’t who you were yesterday.

Stop bringing your past into your today.

Stop bringing your past into this moment, because when you do, you are just putting your past into your future. (And then you expect your future to be different, but it won’t be – it will be the same.)

Yesterday, you were fat, lazy, poor, mean, scared, insecure, loser – Whatever stupid mean things you kept saying over in your head on a thought loop like a broken record!

THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING ABOUT LIFE – are you ready for it?

YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST. YOU ARE FREE TO CREATE YOUR LIFE FROM THIS BLANK SLATE TODAY! YOU HAVE 100% of LIFE LEFT TO LIVE!

You can’t change your past – what’s done is done.

But, you can create a new future.

Whatever you dare to dream is in sight!

I actually have a great past over all. I had an AMAZING upbringing… yet, my head still leaves me stuck in these negative thought loops – I suck, I am fat, I am poor, I am not successful, I am not pretty enough…..

Can you relate to repeating something in your head? Are you even aware you are doing it?

Here’s the best part.

You can change your narrative. You can change your words, your thoughts and change your life.

SERIOUSLY.

All you have to do is start by changing the story you tell yourself about yourself.

Yes, it’s that simple.

Are you hot, sexy, rich, lean, fit, healthy, successful, confident?

Well, why not start telling yourself that?

I am.

People who look at me may disagree.

But we don’t care what other people think, do we? Damn it! We probably do…. Why else have we been playing small all our lives? Taking the “safe” road to our goals?

Damn the little voice that says we won’t make it or succeed at anything we try. SHUT UP MONKEY BRAIN!

We are the lighthouse. We are here to shine. We aren’t lifesavers in the water trying to rescue the drowning. We are just here to share our light, and stand TALL and stand FIRM with our light. Shoulders back. Boobs out.

Being the lighthouse, you don’t have to shy away from being too bright.

BE BRIGHT!

I’m not bright all the time because I’m scared of what people will say.

This is what people have said in the past or I think they will say/think if I’m really shining my light:

  • You are big fat bragger!
  • It’s all about you ALL the time!
  • Snob!
  • Unrelateable! (I’ve worked hard at being relatable – and I’m scared I will lose being able to relate to people if I’m crazy successful!)
  • People won’t like me!
  • I’ll lose my friends!
  • I’ll have no friends left!

And the list could go on…

WOW! With a list like that, who would ever want to be successful or shine their light?

It looks like a crap deal to shine your light if those are the consequences. It’s easier to shrink and blend in with the crowd.

So, what to do? How do you shine like a lighthouse?

You have to grow some serious thick skin and say to yourself, in your narrative, the story you tell yourself:

My dreams are bigger than my bullshit and what other people will think. I’m here for a purpose, and people who don’t love me for living out my purpose here on earth – well, those people are missing out and not part of my journey. The right people will show up and be in my life as I shine bright!

‘Cause the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate anyways right?

So, let them hate your light. It’s your responsibility as a lighthouse to shine.

A lighthouse with its light off does not offer much.

Turn that sucker on!

xx

 

Coach.

Worthy of Receiving

I am LOUSY at receiving. And I’m trying to change that.

Last week, I had a breakdown when I was running. My breakdowns usually happen when I’m running. I don’t know why that is, but I will be running sometimes and break down & cry, sob really. I think running breaks me.

On this particular run, I had finally met my breaking point on this topic of RECEIVING.

I’m so tired of resisting RECEIVING ABUNDANCE!

Okay, let me backtrack for a minute.

I am still struggling with the whole worthiness thing. STILL.

It’s been this crazy battle. There are moments I don’t feel I deserve anything. Moments that I feel I’m still not good enough. STILL.

I just want to scream! I know it’s total bullshit.

This is a HORRIBLE place to be and yet I know so many of my friends and I suffer from this in waves, through depression or through not living out our soul’s purpose or being in full self-expression and still trying to live up to the standards of the rest of the world – whatever that is?!?!

In my want/desire/need to everything I want in my life: love, joy, happiness – I somehow still don’t feel that I’m worthy or receiving.

This could be one of the worst places to be. Seriously.

It’s sad. It really is – because I see so many people as amazing greatness…but they don’t see themselves that way. I don’t see myself that way, maybe once in a while, maybe more and more now, but for years, no.

It makes me want to cry. (Things I do NOT want to pass down to my daughters!)

And money has nothing to do with it. I mean it’s something I’m working on receiving for myself personally, but there is always something we are working on when it comes to receiving – and ALL of it stems from UNWORTHINESS. (I mean unless you really didn’t believe we lived in an abundant world or that abundance existed, then I guess you could argue there isn’t really enough to go around, and maybe then it wouldn’t be a worthiness issue with you if you truly felt you had what you deserved to have, but at your souls level you kinda gotta know by now that abundance exists…right?!)

So, I do what every soul-seeker, entrepreneur, student of life does when faced with growing in a particular area: read more self-development, listen to more books, buy more courses – some I do, some I haven’t even opened yet and basically, just keep seeking to look for what is outside of me, when the secret really is that:

I really do have everything I need, right now, and I only need to look inside of me, and not for approval from the rest of the world. I also know I’m good enough – great enough JUST AS I AM – JUST AS I WAS CREATED!

HOLY MYLANTA! Can you feel that? That weight taken off my shoulders? Can you feel how freeing it is to not have to be anything else but just be yourself? And that you deserve to RECEIVE goodness, abundance – whatever that is for you?

I’m going to take it one step further around.

I’ve been struggling to receive money for ME. I mean, I’m happy to make money and pay everyone else, and like most entrepreneurs, I would happily give it all away too, but it gets tiring making lots of money and not really truly giving back to myself.

I could make millions a year right now and still be in the same place for what I’m giving to myself, which is virtually nothing!

And I know why.

It’s because, for some deep-seated reason, I don’t think I’m worthy of receiving. My business, yes, sure, but me personally – NO!

CRAZY right!?!

And that’s total BS and I know it, and you may be in the same boat in some area of receiving. I hope you are not, but so many of my clients, friends, fellow moms, and entrepreneurs are in this place. Somehow, many of us got this mixed up, crap message engrained in us from who knows where – Church? Parents? Too many episodes of Family Ties or Who’s the Boss? (Full House? Probably Fully House! LOL) Who knows?

Having children has opened up my eyes to see a glimpse of the love God has for us and how he wants to shower us with ABUNDANCE!

I want to spoil my children. And I do. And again and again. Even when they are little sh*t heads. I love them to infinity & beyond, and yes, I want them to have everything they ever dream of having! Of course, I don’t want them to be spoiled brats, but I do want them to know that they are worthy just by being them, without having to do anything.

Don’t you feel you want to spoil your kids or if you don’t have kids, your fur babies as much as you can?

God/Universe wants to do the same for you!

On this journey to “finding my worthiness” (or better yet, learning to just allow worthiness!), I think about how God must look at us, and how he must feel the same for all of his creation – it’s just we are the ones not allowing the gifts in! Crazy right!

Can you believe that we would do such a thing?

But we do deny receiving all the wonderful gifts: money, love, joy, peace, happiness.

And this is how we don’t allow receiving in.

  • By feeling not worthy and thinking we are not worthy.
  • By complaining about our lives.
  • By staying in a state of lack and feeling like “things will be better when I have…..”
  • By resisting.
  • By not listening.
  • By not accepting the gifts given to us with open hands, or not appreciating them.

BUT what have we got right now in this moment?

Another gift. Right here? Right now?

Perfection.

Everything about this moment, about our lives right now is exactly what we created PERFECTLY to perfection.

And you are allowed to receive this moment as perfect.

Lessons you need to learn, situations you find yourself in, people you are surrounded by.

So, if God/the Universe loves me so much and wants me to receive this beautiful gift, then who am I to deny God of giving me all the abundance He wants to pour on me?

What happens when you are in a constant state of unreceiving? Let me answer that for you!

People stop wanting to give to you. We want to give, but not to someone who isn’t grateful, and not to someone who doesn’t even want to receive the gifts we are handing them with closed hands. Imagine I hand you a gift, and you don’t turn palms up to receive it as I’m handing it to you. You are basically spitting in my face, and saying you hate my gift. So, why do we do that that with all the goodness the universe is trying to pour out on us?

So, ya, up until now, I’ve been a shitty receiver. I know that. I can’t even take a compliment well without downplaying it.

No more.

I am a great receiver. I am in receiving.

And best of all, it is GOOD to receive.

Stop being a martyr. Stop making receiving bad.

You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are worthy of receiving.

So RECEIVE it.

xx

 

Coach.

Making The Impossible Possible

Life doesn’t go as planned.

I sit down to write this week’s blog and just got a bleeding nose. So here’s to typing with one hand, which will make me crazy! I haven’t had a bleeding nose in years! This is random and so perfectly perfect for what I wanted to say to you today.

Last week, I told a group of women that financial planning was total bullsh*t!

It’s true! We make all these plans and things rarely go to plan!

In fact, sometimes they are better than we planned, sometimes worse, and sometimes so random out of left field we don’t know whether to make heads or tails of it!

But here’s the thing, even though we know things really never go to plan, we still need to plan!

I’m in Vancouver right now. Doing some planning.

I like to take this week alone every year when my kids are at summer camp, a week to hide away at my sister’s place in Vancouver, and plan.

And I’m SO excited to be here alone and left with my thoughts.

And scared.

After all, spending 24 hours in a 650 sq. ft. room, alone, in a different city, makes me almost want to crawl out of my skin. I want to talk to people and defer and procrastinate to what’s really going on, and put off what I really need to do, which is tune into myself and to some planning and course adjustments – so of course, I stay on course! 🙂

A big part of planning means tuning into myself, to take the time to love myself again, and fall in love with ME again.

Quietly. Thoughtfully. Purposefully.

I think I get stuck too in the “What’s the point of all of this if we are just going to die anyways?”

Why plan?

The point is in the journey. The lessons learned. It’s in making the impossible possible. It’s in showing others it can be done.

Overcoming.

Triumph.

Accomplishing the goals and dreams.

I celebrated with one of my clients last week who hit over $1,000,000 in their portfolio. This was a huge celebration for my client. Showing people it can be done!

Anything is possible.

Make the impossible possible by planning.

It won’t be easy.

But it will be life changing and have an impact on not just you, but your world around you.

Sit down, create the space around you, take a few deep breaths and

MAKE A PLAN.

xx

PS. Make sure to sign up for my TOP 25 MONEY TIPS at financialbliss.ca !

Debt.

Redefining Debt

I want to play devil’s advocate for a minute.

Who decided that debt was “bad”?

I mean, really, who came around and one day labeled debt as bad or good?

Isn’t debt just a circumstance? Isn’t it just a fact?

Aren’t we the ones adding in the emotions, the thoughts, the feelings to our debt – or to others debt?

Why is debt so “bad” anyways?

Isn’t virtually every government in the world in debt? Doesn’t debt allow for roofs over people’s heads and students sitting in desks?

Who made you feel “bad” about debt? Was it your parents? Your grandparents? Your church? Your religion? Society? News/Media?

How would your life be different if you didn’t stress about your debt?

How would your life be different if you re-framed your debt to gratefulness? Thankful that someone lent you money to do the things you wanted to do and accomplish the dreams that you had?

We can make plans to get out of debt. Easy. Simple. No negative emotion need be attached. No judgment needed.

What’s not as simple or as easy to do is clear the energy, the “bad” feelings, the “negative” thoughts patterns engrained in your brain from your ENTIRE life! These are like a broken record, stuck on repeat, looping inside your brain, continuing to create your lack and scarcity mentality. That will only attract more debt.

If you are serious about getting out of debt, then you need to first start by changing your thoughts and feelings toward your debt from fear, guilt, shame, lack and scarcity to gratefulness, blessings, and abundance – then you will change your point of attraction and begin to attract what you really want:

Financial Abundance & Freedom

Coach.

No Holds Barred

I want to share with you something super personal. And don’t worry, it’s not about my vagina. You may think that’s super personal, but I think that plays second fiddle to this topic.

I want to tell you about this part of me and how I protect mine. I’m very passionate about protecting this part of me too – the most delicate flower, besides the other flower 😉

It’s my mind.

I want you to know that I protect my mindset at all costs. ALL COSTS.

To me, my mind and my mindset are the most important thing that I have.

I don’t know if everyone shares the same feelings/thoughts as I do about mindset, and I wonder why that is? Do they just not know that they can choose their thoughts?

To be honest with you, I totally thought this topic should be saved for the people who chose “bad” thoughts, such as murder, violence, the pure evil kind of people. After all, wasn’t that taught to me in Sunday School? Guard your mind. Don’t think evil thoughts.

And we did that. Most of us aren’t murderers or violent people and our lives reflect that.

But today, I want to talk about a different kind of mindset protection – the one that guards our dreams, our innermost desires, the things that we don’t really want to share because they make us vulnerable.

Right now, I want to tell you with one of the biggest things I struggle with, and to be fair, I’m sure I’m not alone, in fact, I know that every functioning brain for the most part on this planet has to deal with this.

Choosing what thoughts serve you is the greatest gift we as humans are given, yet most of us just take life at face value or whatever gets thrown to us and don’t go about choosing to discard the thoughts that don’t serve us.

I am a light. Something I choose to believe, and I find that thought serves me.

I keep my light lit. What does that mean? Personally, I tune out a LOT of crap. I tune out a LOT of darkness that I see (I don’t watch news, even unfollow negative stories or people on Facebook – I read or hear about what I need to from other people close to me), and not because I live in some La-La-Land and pretend everything is all coming up roses, but in a way, yes, it’s because I’m protecting my optimism, my mindset, my dreams.

First of all, it has taken me a few years to discover that I really can choose my thoughts, not just the hand-me-down thoughts I thought I had to take from my parents, family, church, etc. And then taken me a few more years to figure out what thoughts serve me and help me reach my goals and dreams.

I choose thoughts like:

  • It’s easy to make money. (Hey, I’m still working on this one, but I’d rather choose this than thinking that it’s hard to make money.)
  • I am a light, I shine.
  • I live my dream life (and I do! Probably because I choose too!)
  • I am the healthiest person I know (and I am.)
  • I am fit & lean. (ya… that serves me… better than thinking I’m fat!)
  • I am smart.
  • I help millions of people in the world with my message.
  • I am sexy, hot, fun, beautiful and rich. Seriously, why not? (If that just triggered you, then, ask yourself why?)

Because here’s the thing, I only allow a handful of mentors to speak into my life, and not that I don’t listen to what others have to say, I totally love learning, and will always have an open mind, however, when it comes to my deepest truest self, I’ve aligned with mentors that I would literally follow off the earth, and even then, I have mentors for different things in my life, such as business, personal, fitness, etc.

And what I really want to say is this: the people who I allow to speak into my life are NOT the people who are closest to me!

And, here’s my big revelation in the last year or two, the people closest to you – your partner, husband, girlfriend, mom, dad, sisters, brothers, best friends – they love you HOWEVER, they are usually the dream crushers…..

Yes, I will say it again.

The people closest to you are usually the dream crushers.

Not on purpose. They love you. They really want you to succeed, but they usually are the ones to tell you:

  • it isn’t realistic, that you are never going to make it,
  • that you should consider quitting on your dreams as a way to not let you get your hopes up or having to witness you be in pain for falling flat on your face or
  • be brought back to reality or given a “reality check”
  • that you are too optimistic, pie-in-the-sky dreamer, or
  • maybe they are scared of change themselves, and don’t want you to rock the boat.

ROCK THE DAMN BOAT!

When you step out powerfully in your life, it makes the people around you uncomfortable. They don’t really want you to change, they like you just the way you are right now. Plus, when you step out into your dreams, you are challenging/triggering/reminding those people that they aren’t. You awaken them to the fact that they aren’t living their dreams, or stepping out in a certain area of their life.

MIRRORS SUCK!

The people closest to us are the people that are usually in our head. Do you agree?

I know this is so true for me!

I don’t care if random strangers tell me that I suck at something, but when it comes from someone close to me, it hurts, it holds weight – and only because I love them, and chose to give them that power over me and speak into my life like that.

I’m learning slowly to stop giving my power away, even to those with the best intentions!

I’m talking about when you are stuck in life. Feeling frustrated. Feeling you aren’t moving forward. That is when you need to protect your thoughts even more. That is when you can’t let the nay-sayers in.

So today, I want you to protect your dreams at all costs, hold them close to your heart and keep them safe. That may mean not sharing it with people closest to you or when you do share it, not letting others opinions of your dreams, your life, how much money you want to make or the impact you want to make in the world.

I am creating a huge transformational shift with my business and all the people I partner with. It’s my dream. To make a difference. To help hundreds of thousands – millions – in my lifetime. I will do it.

Here’s WHY this is so IMPORTANT:

At the end of the day, what purpose we create for ourselves during this human experience is all from the thoughts we think. Our thoughts really do create our lives and the experiences we feel.

We can do anything we believe we can do.

Deep down, you and I know how powerful we really are.

And it scares the shit out of us.

And we hold back.

I hold back.

Without my optimism, my positive thoughts, my mindset and dreams protected, I won’t be able to go out and make a difference in the world.

Think about it.

If I let someone who says “I can’t” into my headspace, then I’ve lost. I’ve let myself down, and the world has lost out on my gift of contribution to society – in whatever shape that comes in (business, art, science, love, charity, writing, etc. – whatever that is for you.)

You are important and you were put here to be an important helper in your own unique way. So, protect those dreams, hold them close to your heart.

Believe in them.

Cause, you know….

You can do anything.

No holding back. No holds barred.

xx

 

PS. You want to live a life with no holds barred – then join me this Saturday for Elevate! elevateday.com

Coach.

100

100.

I’m so damn proud today.

I get to celebrate 100 BLOG posts and I get to feel proud for not missing one week since May 15, 2015.

THAT’S OVER 100,000 WORDS (like 2 more books! Oh ya! Plus I wrote a book! Shameless plug for STRUT!)

CONSISTENCY BABY!

Here’s the thing. People tell me I’m a “great” writer.

And I tell them, I’m not. It’s a skill. Something you develop over time.

Let me ask you something.

What if you delivered 100 babies, prepared 100 tax returns, taught 100 classes, put out 100 fires, sold 100 homes, cooked 100 meals, drank 100 beers? You’d be “great” in your area of expertise too.

But here’s the thing (as you know by now, with me there’s always a “thing”), all it takes to be an expert in any field is consistency, showing up, and not quitting.

Do you do that?

Do you do that with your money? (HA – there’s a good question!)

Do you do that with your business or your dream job or do you just quit and jump from one opportunity to where you think the grass is always greener?

Do you do that in every area of your life? Especially areas like your dream body or dream relationship?

Most people jump. That is a FACT! Nobody sticks out much anymore – true story. But on that same note, why? Why stay in a job that makes you miserable. Exactly! The point here is to choose something you can stick with, something that lights you up, even on the days when you want to quit – because EVERY JOB, EVERY BUSINESS, EVERY RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN 2 HUMANS has those days. Quit if you want. No one really cares (seriously, hear me say this lovingly, no one really cares what you do…) but you will. You are the only one who has to like yourself for your choices. Not your mom. Not your dad. Not your husband. Not your kids. Not your best friend. They will think what they want to think and everyone will judge regardless – don’t use others as a measuring stick for success, it’s sure to fail you! So like – no, LOVE the choices you make!

We all know the grass is NEVER greener on the other side, so make your grass MOTHER EFFING AUGUSTA PGA GRASS! That’s what you do! Make your grass the greenest grass everyone wants!

How? Live your purpose, live your dream life.

Why? Because when you are living your true calling, your path, in alignment with your soul, people take note. People notice the light, the spark, the jump in your step, the joy in your heart! People will want your grass when you are living your dream life. People always want something they can’t have….

Everyone wants to know the secret, the secret to having everything you ever wanted – yet, the secret is really inside all of us, we just have to let it out – unleash it onto our lives and the world and stop keeping our message, our truth, bottled up!

The secret is that there is no secret and you have to choose what you already have and what you don’t! (A totally confusing mess!!)

When you choose your life, the exact life you have, the choices you made – that’s the secret to being happy. Happiness is on you. It’s never on them. I’ll say it again……

Happiness is on you. It’s never on them.

Trust me – the most freeing thing in the entire world is choosing, and re-choosing, and being grateful for your life and then choosing something different, and then choosing to be grateful for the new choices you just made!

One foot in front of the other.

Find your true calling, your path, alignment.

There’s no RIGHT OR WRONG here… no matter how many people try to tell you that you are doing it right or wrong.

Live FREE. Free your soul’s work, your soul’s art. LOVE the crap outta all people and all things! DO the work you were put here on the planet to do.

When you do that, I guarantee you will be deeply satisfied, proud and happy.

I am.

Free. Happy. Proud.

Jumping out of the roof of my car.

Live every day like that.

That’s what we are all chasing. It’s not money. It’s not stuff.

We want to feel good.

Happy. Free. Proud. Joy. Love.

xx

 

PS. Thank you to everyone who has supported me in the last 4 years in my writing journey, My Shoes En Blanc Girls, My Shopping Club Girls, I tagged you all because I love you so much and want all my friends to live their best life! xo

PPS. If you want to ELEVATE your life – be sure to check out elevateday.com on June 24th in Cochrane!