Hard Conversations

It’s a little nudge. The quiet voice. That something on your to-do list. The thing you know you NEED to do, but you still haven’t done it.

A conversation on “what happens when I’m gone.”

Seems nobody likes to talk about it. We don’t like being faced with our mortality.

It doesn’t bother me. Mostly because I’m completely ready for death – which frees me up to LIVE and not be worried.

I plan on living to 110. Seriously. I will move heaven and earth to make that happen, but hey, if God has other plans, then so be it.

So I have my will, power of attorney, personal directive.

I have loads of life insurance.

I have spreadsheets about 10-pages long listing absolutely EVERYTHING I manage, that actually are up-to-date.

I can’t preach from my very core, or write my next book without having done this stuff myself.

I can’t already tell some of you won’t read this because the thought of dying almost literally scares you to death;  you’re not ready to face death yet, and that’s okay – when you are ready – read my next book – it will be out by then….

But I will say, the peaceful feeling that you have made your last wishes known to your family is one of the best gifts you can give them.

Let me say it again:

The best gift you can give the people you love the most on this planet is to let them know your last wishes, from the assets to how you want your remains handled.

It’s real my loves, it’s real life. You know it.

I’m watching my dearest family members walk through the recent loss of their loved ones, and in the same breath, beautiful new babies born into our family.

It’s life and it’s beautiful.

However, when someone we love passes away, even for the closest of families, it usually brings fighting, discord, and pain.

Many times relationships are wrecked for the rest of this earthly life.

All because one thing didn’t happen.

A conversation.

A conversation about death.

A conversation about the reality, the day-to-day stuff that happens upon death.

A conversation that best involves the entire family.

A conversation that only needs to take 5-minutes or 15-minutes. (There’s the 10-second grouchy-old-man version – cremation, throw my ashes in the lake and give all my stuff to my dog, Arnold. And then there’s Lisa Elle’s End-of-Life-Extravaganza Black-Tie-Event with a party planner and everything…just saying – it’s going to be a thing, but in reality, you’ll all be dead, because I’ll be 110, and well, none of you reading this now will be there… so the plan goes…)

But we aren’t having these conversations because they are tough.

And because we can’t stomach the tough conversations, it leads to more turmoil for our loved ones.

Okay, fast forward and now you think you have all your ducks in a row – maybe some life insurance and a will, etc. Maybe you’ve even told everyone in your family what to do when you are gone.

Listen to this:

Just recently, I know a few estates of some friends and some family members where I know they would have benefitted IMMENSELY from a 1-hour conversation with a CFP or Estate Planner. But they didn’t.

I hate HATE knowing I could have saved hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes on these estates by simply having a 1-hour conversation. I hate knowing I should have spoken up. Maybe it’s on me to learn how to be a bit more pushy, and ask the hard questions.

This is why.

Nothing really is simple anymore.

  • You live in a province with probate tax – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You have a regular family with 3 ex-wives, multiple children from different relationships – you NEED to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You have minor children – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You have disabled children of ANY AGE – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You have no kids – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You are married, or living common law or not married – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.
  • You own assets in other countries or have close family in other countries – you need to have a conversation with an Estate Planner.

Oh, and if you don’t fall into one of those categories – I really can’t help you. At all. Because you are outta this world – literally.

My point.

EVERYONE can benefit from a conversation with a CFP or Estate Planner.

Need to quickly clarify: Estate Planner is someone who specialized in this area – not all lawyers and accountants do this, CFP’s or TEP (Trust & Estate Practitioners) do this. Look for one of those. We can pull the plan together and pull in lawyers and accountants as needed depending upon what you specifically need for your estate. NOTE: YOUR CORNER BANK DOES NOT DO THIS. This is something you need a fiduciary for.

Plus, this crap changes every time Justin changes his sexy hair. Meaning, what you plan today is not the same as tomorrow’s new proposed government budget and changes to tax law. So best to have a relationship with someone who you can review your plan with as well every few years!

So what started out as a nudge that is inside of you, is now me giving you a SPANK and YELLING at you to get this stuff dealt with (not in a kinky way of course….more so in my MOMMY VOICE YELLING AT MY CHILDREN!)


  1. Get a will. Spend the money – go to a lawyer. At minimum, get a template DIY will.
  2. Hire an Estate Planner.
  3. Have conversations about life after you with people you care about.

What you will save by getting an Estate Plan in place:

  • family relationships (hey – it helps!!)
  • reduce stress & worry for the people you love
  • money that goes to your family instead of to the government aka. reduce taxes (on every estate there is one consistent beneficiary!)
  • peace of mind for you so you can live your life with less worry
  • leaving a legacy of LOVE and not a SHIT SHOW

NEED I SAY MORE my beautiful loves reading this.

I do know nothing will ever go perfectly to plan, but better a plan than not.

All you really need is 1-2 HOURS of PLANNING. It can literally change the course of your family for generations to come.

I’m totally kicking your a** today.

Consider it kicked out of love.



Here’s how I can help you with this….

  1. Talk or Message me about Wealth Spa™
  2. Check out my Get Started Money Packages
  3. Sign Up for my Money Makeover Online Course

PS. On a personal note, if I have any more friends and family tell me they don’t have wills, I’m going to march you to a lawyers office, lock you in there, or even make you draft up a will before I let you out of my sights. I think it will be my new signature move. I may need to learn some martial arts first. Now, who wants to go out for coffee with me?

PPS. Do you see the photo I posted for this post? That is my beautiful family. I would hate to see them fighting after I passed on over any of my assets or worse. (The Loewen’s are loud and strongly opinionated on a good day – I don’t need to add to that!) I don’t want to be remembered that way. I want you to insert your family photo in there and ask yourself if you want to see your family ripped apart because you didn’t share your last wishes with them. <3