If you saw this page right now, thoughts scattered this morning. Even my coffee is scattered, spilled.

Writing about release is very hard. Mostly because it’s handed me my ASSets this month.

I mean some serious releasing stuff. Things I’ve held on to so tight for the last 17 years. (okay, I lied, 18 years – I usually refer back to when I was 20 – it’s a thing and ya’ll know I had a birthday)

Usually, it’s from the way I thought things were supposed to go and guess what, despite my best efforts, have not gone my way.

Which, at the end of the day, is actually pretty okay with me.

Okay, what kind of BS statement was that.

This was not okay.

So much in my life right now is not okay. Not the way I planned.

This is what I actually wrote and then deleted, “I”m an adventure seeker at heart and thrive with new adventures.” Okay, so true, but this isn’t some trip to New York on my own, or a hike in the Rockies, or like the time I manifested a private jet. Those were adventures.

This.

This is the stuff I don’t care for an adventure with. Things that I want to go my way. Things that I have an expected outcome with.

But, life has other plans. God always has other plans.

Plans that usually come and bite you hard in the ass. Maybe God is a Pitbull….

And to be fair, I’m kinda glad He is.

Cause I’m coming out of what is probably the WORST month I’ve ever had in my business for so many reasons.
Totally thrown off my game. I mean, luckily, I have people who can help and I’m sure from the outside everything looks tickity-boo.

But it wasn’t.

There are days I quit. Literally, wanted to disappear.
So I sabotaged.

Queen Sabotager.

Wow, even coming clean with you, to the page, this morning is sobering.

So, back to the country I go, where I go, alone, crawling into my own thoughts, and just sitting there.

Releasing.

Constantly releasing.

Releasing how things should have been.

I “should’ve” been further ahead by now.

Sobering thought when you realize you were further ahead a decade ago – your money, your relationships, your body. (I know MANY of you have been there!)

And then I think about all the friends, clients, mentors, famous people, millions of people – who had it all and then didn’t.

Because I know that life is not a straight up, bottom left to diagonally right type of life.

But I thought it should’ve been.

I wanted that chart. And I still want that nice chart. (Don’t we all?)

And it wasn’t. And it never will be straight up.

You get caught in all the “shoulds”. And all those shoulds get you blocked the EFFFF up, yes, I’m referring to constipation.

And don’t laugh. (okay, you can always laugh, because I think I’m hilarious at times)

Give your head a shake if you don’t think that it’s all connected. All of it.

As we all are.

This is what happens, by the way, when you don’t release and hold on to stuff:

• you get sick, from cancer to constipation, to massive headaches
• you hold on to extra weight that even the most perfect diet or exercise regime will not allow you to shed
• you yell at your kids more
• you have less patience
• you get pissed at everything and anyone
• you get irritated when the tiniest things don’t go your way
• you get depressed
• you might drink more or smoke more or find new ways to sabotage yourself
• you become a total B*TCH – let’s be honest here
• and the worst thing about all of this holding on – the absolute worst….
• you laugh less. You don’t laugh at all.

Okay, so here’s my BIG idea. Here’s been my most painful, crying EVERYDAY lesson from the last month.

Stop holding on so tight.

Stop holding on so tight, Lisa. {or insert your name here}

Let it all go.

Cause if you don’t, it will go anyways. So be the one to laugh and let it go.

None of it really matters anyway.

Don’t let your identity get so wrapped up in things that can be taken away from you.

This would be money, stuff, relationships, your body.

Things that can’t be taken away from you: a loving heart, serving others, a big smile for the world.

The rest is all fake, and not worth worrying over. Ya, it hurts your pride like a mother-fucker to fail. Yes, I said it.

It’s true.

But you somehow find the courage to keep on keeping on and facing your life after it hasn’t gone your way.

You adult. You own it. (Damn, that even hurts worse sometimes.)

I got to the point where I literally broke down in laughter. (You get sick of the tears sometimes and the stupid stories you keep telling yourself.)

Sometimes you just have to set your soul free. You have to live in that place where everything you look at turns over a new adventure. Put on the glasses, the filter, the one where everything breathes new hope and where everything that crosses your path is another magical miracle.

Because it is.

• True Release means the universe can dance with your soul
• True Release means never having to worry about an outcome
• True Release means you set yourself free knowing God has your back
• True Release means you get to happen to life, not life happen to you.
• True Release allows you to soar, that feeling you get in your dreams when you can fly. (You know that feeling – the one when nothing can stop you. The feeling that you are making a difference, making a contribution, everything in flow, living your life in this most amazing space!)

And you will soar my dear friend. You will always soar in True Release.

xx

This week 3 of my favorite places closed down: a restaurant close by, a coffee shop and a clothing shop I loved.

I’m heartbroken.

I really loved what these places had to offer: my favorite Arugula & Prosciutto Pizza, the best Spanish Latte ever, and clothes that were 100% me, my style – in other words – black.

Seriously, I totally root for the success all businesses, because if one fails, really, we all lose out.

I really do go through the cycle of grief. Shock, Denial and then I’m very angry at the economy for letting them down or even blame management, even if I have no idea what happened, I make stories up in my head. Acceptance feels like an eternity away.

(Hey, I just lost out on my fav Pizza & Latte – pretty serious stuff emotionally! Now I have to spend all that time trying new restaurants and coffee joints and trying on new clothes {which I hate, if you want to know!} to find my new “love”.  It’s like I’m going to have to kiss a lot of bad pizza’s before I find my one true mozzarella love!)

I’ve been having a hard time with the changing landscape in my industry as well. So many “old” men thinking business can just go on the way it did the last 40-years, and not really clueing into what’s really happening in the world (aka – EVERYTHING is going online), meanwhile, it feels harder and harder than ever to break through the noise when it comes to marketing your products and services.

And even with all the regular stress of business, because we all have it, there’s one thing I want to remind you of (and by you, of course I mean me – cause this be that message I need to hear again and again!)

The world needs you and what special gift you bring to it.

There is no such thing as competition. It can’t exist if you believe in ABUNDANCE. (You seriously can’t believe in both – they are opposites. Think on that!)

Plus, the world really does need your special type of pizza and your clothes, your skin care, your latte, your zany brand of Financial Wisdom.

Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

You make a difference to someone.

Even if you don’t feel like you do.

You do.

xx

I have one vow to make to myself today for this new year.

37 was crap if I’m being totally honest with you.

The whole year was like that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful, I’m blessed and I deepened relationships and made new soul aligned ones as well, expanded my network of amazing humans and lived every day with a smile and deep joy.

AAAAND I sure let myself down – that is why it was not my best year.

And trust me  – there is no worse person to let down than yourself.

And it gets worse!

Way worse when you realize you can’t hide from yourself, dodge your own emails, ignore your own texts, not answer your phone calls, skip out on your birthday, drive away from yourself. Difficult.

I’ve tried.

As it turns out you have to still feed, dress, walk your sorry ASSets around.

I’ve had a rough go lately, and I do take 100% responsibility for it, even if 100% of it was 100% out of my control.

It boils down to this. Integrity with my word with myself.

I haven’t served as many people with my message this year because I didn’t follow through with my word to myself. I haven’t gone ALL out only because I have so many other balls up in the air to keep happy that I totally didn’t do what I was supposed to do.

My juggling act seems to be impressive at times, but ultimately ends in failure when I’m not being true to myself.

Can you relate? Ya, I know you got your balls in the air and on the floor too!

Yet, I still laugh and love and even with those negative thoughts, I’m still choosing to move forward, take action on my dreams, while still sitting with the negative emotions that come, the sadness, the hurt and being okay with it.

I’ve had many moments of deep depression in my life. Almost all of it I can relate back to NOT staying in integrity with my word to myself. (Cause how can you be depressed or mad at yourself when you are in LOVE with yourself and kicking ASSets and living in total integrity with yourself and others? Plus, nothing is worse than rolling over and playing victim.)

And no, I’m not being hard on myself. I knew better. But I kept choosing to put others first – and yes, this includes that crazy thing where I care what people/society/family/friends/LinkedIn actually thinks of me.

Always others first. Keep the peace. Be the middleman. Don’t speak up. Don’t fight. Play nice with others. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t stand for something greater than yourself, because that makes people not like you. (Which again is crazy, cause who cares – you can’t control what people think anyway, this I need to really let go of!)

Some may not see it that way, but I knew that every time I tried to make someone else happy or be the peacemaker,  I choose them over myself. I choose what they think about me over what I think of me and that is probably the worst SIN against yourself. ‘Cause HEAVEN FORBID that I ever stand up for myself really, and every time I broke those agreements with myself it ended up in a DISASTER.

And let’s just say, when your life feels like a disaster in one area of your life, every area of your life follows. It’s how the good ol’ law of attraction works.

And it can all be traced back to one thing. One simple thing.

Choosing Yourself.  Choosing Yourself first.

Listening to yourself. Taking what you need. Being Loyal to your heart, your dreams, your body. Keeping your word to yourself.

Cause here’s the real deal.  You’re gonna naturally be able to give more when you have all that personal sh*t taken care of.

When you can’t take care of yourself you are paralyzed and render yourself completely unable to give back. It sucks. That feeling/state completely sucks and ends up serving NO ONE. Plus you become grouchy and miserable.

One of my coaches, Katrina Ruth, said this week,

“Being 0.01% off alignment is being 100% off alignment.”

God did a fabulous job of showing me that this month! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! (I hit the floor laughing at one point, cause it seemed like a cosmic joke!) I’m a chiropractors dream I’m so much out of alignment with my soul somedays!

But when we realize we are off track by putting others thoughts of us, others ideas, others ideas of how business “should” go, and all the bullshit that society tells us on how to be a good person, “go to university, get married, have some kids, a mortgage and a J-O-B” and all the other completely crazy stuff that really has nothing to do with your soul’s purpose here, we need to course correct.

So many of my friends, women mostly, but men too, have put everyone else’s needs above our own, giving until we are a dry well and it’s hurting us, and it ends up serving no one in the long run.

We need to pull back into alignment. I need to pull back into alignment.

Alignment for those of you who don’t speak “woo-woo” is when your life is in flow, you are doing your souls work and not just doing it for your ego.

Ego Goals, although achievable, never satisfy.

Ego Goals are like showing off at cocktail parties, fun for the moment, but after leave you completely aware that you really know nothing and leave you with a hangover type depression that’s hard to shake.

Purpose-driven Passion Goals usually come along with problem-solving, still aware you know nothing (cause let’s face it, none of us really know anything!), but you can tap into unlimited knowledge & power from source, learn it and make a difference and that will fuel you more than any Ego Goal ever could.

Purpose-Driven-Passion-Soul-Work Goals will nourish and feed and grow you.

Choosing you means choosing your purpose-driven goals. Ego Goals will leave you with 50-letters behind your name by the time you are 50 and you really won’t even really know what half of the letters stand for. I know cause that’s my ego goal, and as of right now, I barely can remember what most of the 19 (going on 22) letters behind my name even mean half the time.

Letters behind your name, like a great resume, like trophy accomplishments (trophy wife, trophy career, trophy cars, trophy homes), like most things in life, really do mean f*ck all. (Not that I’m saying they are bad, in fact, the opposite, however, it’s about the fact they don’t really mean much at the end of the day if your soul is sucked dry…)

Doing your life in a way that serves your soul is the only way to do life.

So that’s my promise to myself this year: choose myself.

Over and over again.

xx

PS. And, as for my birthday today, it’s pretty great. I have a beautiful 10-year old and 8-year old making me breakfast. I have my coffee. Facetimed my Mom & Dad. I’m ready to tackle the new year with my blue shovel! Cheers!

The Blue Shovel.

Damn Blue Shovel.

This is my story.

I love LOVE to run outside. FREE.

But, I live in snow and ice for 6 months of the year.

Last week on my walk, I decided I would take my shovel to clear a 1km path on my favorite place to run.

I seriously thought it would be easy.

For anyone who has ever shoveled snow, it’s only easy if it’s the first fresh fall of snow and no one has trampled on it a million times, packed it down, then it becomes uneven and icy. Not what I want to run on.

So, Yesterday, I dragged my blue shovel 1km over to my favorite place in all the world to begin my shoveling, in hopes I could run on a smooth clear path soon.

I began to shovel the snow off the 2 small bridges before the path starts. I suck. I’m not as strong as I thought. This was NOT as easy as I had thought it to be in my head.

It was heavy and grueling, but I kept at it, if only to finish a nice path along the icy bridges, besides, I had my tunes cranked and was happy to be out in the fresh air, singing along.

I finished shoveling the 2 bridges. THAT’S ALL! I didn’t even get started on my path yet. Then decided, this would take all day, and I had to get back for a client appointment. So, I began my journey back home with my large blue shovel in hand, planning to come back next time.

A lovely lady with her cute little white dog stopped me at the top of the hill and said, “Thank you for shoveling the bridges. They always ice up, and now we won’t slip down them.”

On a side note: we do have machinery in our community that clears the paths, however, because these machines can’t go on the cute bridges, then both bridges and the path that follows it remains a snowy icy mess for half the year, yet, this is the path where my tiny little community enjoys their walks.

So, I’m just going to go back with my shovel (or even buy one and leave it on the path) all winter and try to make a smoother path. Even if my goal was selfish, so I could run on a smooth path during the winter, and once I cleared it, realized I helped others too.

I’m sure you can already guess where this blog is going (about being generous and helping others and mushy gushy stuff like that), but I’m not going actually going that way at all….

Here’s where I’m going with this:

Some people were meant to shovel the path, create the path, cut down trees and make the path, bulldoze the path for others, brush the debris and pebbles off the path and make the path as smooth as possible for others.

Or as my favorite quote says, “You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved.”

So, for those that want to take the smooth path, that’s okay – in fact, that’s awesome. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel or take stupid risks with your money, you can follow books, blueprints, plans, step-by-step guides, and listen to us coaches to help you get to the next level and you can probably make tons of money even faster than the people insistent on shoveling their own path.

Being called to shoveling paths is something the people who take the smooth path only can dream of. They still haven’t fully stepped off the smooth path and into their calling, and they haven’t lived in that space where you HAVE TO TRUST GOD and keep faith for absolutely everything to see your vision come to life.

It’s good to be a smooth path person.

Smooth path people are borrowing somebody else’s dreams most of the time, which typically involves retirement and trips to warmer climates. They are helping build up the dreams of others – which is a good thing, btw. We need people in the world whose vision and dream is to take the smooth path – that’s why us crazy shovelers are creating the paths in the first place because we want to help the smooth path people. We want the smooth path people to live their dreams.

There are so many days I wish that I could walk along a smoother path, run it even. Nothing is better than to run on a smooth path.

But, God called me to shoveling.

Shit included. (This week, lots and lots of SHIT! And, I know more will come along my unbeaten path.)

So to my fellow shovelers, my people, the people with the vision so big that you actually curse God most days for giving you this GRAND vision for this world, to impact millions of lives for the better, for a better world, and a knowing that you are here for that MASSIVE MIND-BLOWING vision, to see it through, no matter the cost. No matter the cost.

To you, my fellow shovelers, keep creating that path.

Keep Shoveling.

Keep Shoveling.

Keep Shoveling.

You will curse the shovel. EVERY DAY.

I know you won’t stop. You physically would die if you did stop. You will laugh at people who say don’t quit – because those words don’t even exist in your vocabulary until after your second last breath because you won’t stop until you’re sure you’re really dead with the first last breath.

That’s because you know deep down, this is the life you were called to live. Living anything less than the calling is not worth living.

Yes, you were called to be a shoveler.

And all it takes is faith like a mustard seed and a blue shovel.

xx

PS. If you are a beautiful-soulpreneur-shoveler shoveling shit and want to meet other amazing shovelers, you need to get in at —> https://financialbliss.ca and make sure you are in the Money Makeover Facebook Group!