Wanna know how to totally wreck a good love vibe?!
Bring up the conversation about MONEY!
In most relationships, this is a TOTAL BUZZ-KILL!
Why is that? Simple.
You have 2 different people who come from 2 different families who are of different beliefs, different money experiences, different cultures, different religions, different EVERYTHING, and then we put 2 people, who by the way have had 20-30 years of money habits totally ingrained into them, in the same room for a long period of time (aka. a relationship) and get them to work side-by-side on a topic, such as money.
NO FREAKIN’ WONDER WHY MONEY IS STRESSFUL BETWEEN ANY TWO PEOPLE!
It’s really a MIRACLE any 2 people can stand each other for more than 2 seconds.
Let’s be real for a second. I want to do money my way. (And I do! 😉 )
Enter: Cupid’s Love Arrow
For some reason or another most of us want to be in relationships, and it’s THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD TO BE IN LOVE, until real life kicks in, the magic love potion died down, and we find we are doing daily life with a partner. Okay, without me sounding too cynical (because I’m totally not! I actually do believe that you create whatever relationship you desire to have, and I’m also the BIGGEST romantic suck out there), when it comes to money, and the reality for relationships and money, this can be a huge struggle for most of us.
So here’s the secret to money and love, if you really want to know.
THERE IS NO SECRET to money and relationships! (Ya, I get it – boooo!)
You get to define how you want to do money in your relationships and no one can judge you.
You are free to keep your money totally separate or fully together. You need to do what works for you.
But I do have some good advice on the subject…
And FYI: YOUR MAN IS NOT A GOOD FINANCIAL PLAN! (I’ll repeat that again!)
Here are 3 tips for different types of relationships. Your relationship will be one of the three!
- If you are in a relationship where your partner does handle all the money, that is great, however, I do encourage you to learn and understand where all your money is, and take some interest. (My Money Makeover Online Course is GREAT for this!) 9 out of 10 women will be FINANCIALLY ON THEIR OWN at some point in time during their adult life and will be in total control of their finances. (Again: YOUR MAN IS NOT A GOOD FINANCIAL PLAN!)
- If you are in a relationship where you both are kinda waiting for the other person to handle the money, or don’t want to stir the pot – STIR THE POT! You need to stop waiting for your partner to take the first step, and you need to set up the appointments and the plans and be the one to take the financial reins then. Cause you will both end up sitting there in later years wondering what the hell happened and how did we end up in this crappy financial place (Hint: it’s because neither of you cared enough to just step up and get sh*t done!) (My Money Makeover Online Course is GREAT for this!)
- If you are in a unicorn relationship, where you both take interest and equally share the financial responsibility within your relationship, then good on you! You deserve a super-hero award in my books! Chances are you both keep your money separate or separate to some degree and make your own decisions around money, which has served you both well. (BTW, my Money Makeover Online Course is GREAT for this ’cause just because you don’t fight about money, doesn’t mean you really know what you are doing with it!)
While my tips may sound like a Chinese fortune cookie, let me assure you that if you are reading this, and if you aren’t mad at this post, that means you probably are handling your relationship and money just dandy. If for some reason this post has triggered you (ie. you are mad at me, or your partner, or the dog, or your morning coffee), then I would definitely take some time to open the communication up around money in your relationship.
If you have a partner that really is not receptive to dealing with any of your money sh*t, then I would take matters into your own hands and start a plan. You don’t need to have your partner on board to take care of you and your family. Besides, they may just not be ready to confront that debt, or they may choose to live in denial. Either way, if you are ready, then you take that first step and your partner/hubs/sexyman, who loves you, will most likely be super grateful that you did.
There is a reason financial matters are the number one reason for divorce. Sometimes couples truly have 2 different life plans and 2 different visions for their lives. And that’s okay. If that is you, or you are walking through that season in your life right now, then take heart, I’m sending you love and encouragement that your financial situation in the future will not be as dire as it may seem right now. You can always start from a clean slate. That’s the beautiful thing about this life. We start each day with a clean slate, able to go out and create!
Bottom Line: Money is messy regardless whether you are single, going through a divorce or in a relationship – but it doesn’t have to be! Everything can be figured out, and it can be easy and effortless. If you have a plan in place, money doesn’t have to be a worry in your life at all.
PS. My Money Makeover Online Course is GREAT for anyone wanting to know how to take their money to the next level, learn financial basics (so the banks can’t pull the wool over your eyes!) and do so in an environment that’s gentle, fun, easy and well, made with LOVE from me! xoxo
Check it out at moneymakeoveronline.com
Want to know how? Message me!