In less than a few weeks, I’m leaving one of the companies I’ve worked with for over 15 years.
Even though it’s 100% the right decision for me at this point in my life, I still feel like it’s a divorce. I still wonder how I will go on without this relationship in my life. I now have to identify with something new, something different.
Uncomfortable.
I didn’t realize that I have wrapped up a lot of my identity in who I work for or what I do for a living.
So much of my worth as a person, my value.
And it gets worse….
I’ve also identified myself and my value with things like my resume, my skills, and if we are being BRUTALLY honest, things like my health, looks, financial stuff, relationships, where I live – ALL GOOD, BAD, or UGLY… doesn’t matter….
DOESN’T matter because –
We all do it and it’s how we relate to the world, how we find our pecking order, our tribes, our places in this world.
And so I realize that is not going to change and that’s okay because we will never be able to fight the laws of attraction anyways.
Like will always attract like.
This is where I have got stuck in the past.
How do I separate myself from my accomplishments, the worldly things, the tribes I associate with (Motherhood, Work, Family, etc.)?
How do I just BE and then while BEING be okay with all that I am presently?
Be okay with the fact that I’m good enough?
That I’m worthy enough?
That I’m valuable enough?
I mean sure we sing songs in Sunday School about the fact that we are unique little unicorns, valuable, blah, blah… great for a 5-year-old.
Different for us older folk who’ve been around a little longer and realize we have to work for a living and work for all the stuff we think we want – not to mention that we are trying to survive and just make it day-to-day.
But how does one actually live like they are worthy of TRUE ABUNDANCE? In all the things, all the areas – the health, wealth & love?
How do you FIND YOUR WORTH in a broken world?
And then comes the real questions that you are really asking here:
“Who am I to be worthy of this? Who am I to be worthy of doing this great thing that my heart desires?”
And the answer always whispers from the deepest parts of your soul as it always will when you tune in and listen for it:
“Who are you not to?
You were made for a moment such as this! For a decision, for a relationship, for a job, for a family, for a love, for a house, for a healthy body, for a purpose, for abundance such as this!”
And whisper grows louder and louder until one day it shouts at you and makes you practically pee your pants while you are walking down the aisle at the grocery store.
Oh ya… that small voice we’ve so kindly pushed aside for so long that just yelled at us – in a loving way of course…
You now can’t deny it. It’s there. It’s real. It’s not going away.
God really dislikes playing second fiddle in your life. Your universe that created you really REALLY dislikes you not LISTENING to the true desires of your heart.
The problem, and I say problem because it’s so hard to wrap your head around this one, is that I can’t do anything to become more valuable than I already am.
We were born perfect and made perfect and born worthy and born valuable and let’s face it, there’s nothing –
NOTHING –
we can do to screw that up.
Kinda takes all the fun out of life, doesn’t it?
But what am I supposed to strive for? What GOAL am I supposed to work for? Why am I supposed to make millions of dollars and why am I supposed to eat healthy? And why for God’s sake then do I have to get off the couch and turn off Netflix?
What if the secret to this whole thing was that there really was nothing to strive for?
What if there was:
- no course you need to take
- no fancy school you need to graduate from
- no amount of money you need to make
- no high-paid job you need to get
- no hot sexy relationship you had to be in
- no big family you had to have
- no hot car you need to drive
- no fancy clothes, shoes or makeup you need to own
- no special house you need to live in
- no elaborate titles you need behind your name
- no elite famous friends you need to have
What if you actually didn’t need any of that stuff?
What if you actually stopped looking for approval, validation and security outside yourself?
What if you could live in a space, the now, the present where you actually had all the stuff you were seeking?
What if the secret to it all never lied with the world outside of us?
What if all we had to do was listen to our higher self?
What if we stopped listening to the world, all the world – which includes:
partners, kids, parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, bosses, co-workers, friends that mean well, some chick posting her blog on social media 😉 –
What if we only listened within, what if we only took direction from our higher self, God, the universe, whatever you call it?
I think it’s like this:
You can do whatever you want in this life. No one is going to force you to follow your destiny, follow your desires. No one is going to force you to step into your destiny and get off the couch.
I also don’t think you have to honour God, your higher self or the universe in anyway shape or form. That’s 100% your choice. Just a decision you get to make. It’s not right or wrong.
However, I do think that there is this BIG MAGIC that happens when you do HONOUR that voice inside you, your God voice and hunker down on those desires.
I think that’s where you get to live in the magic, the adventure, to open up your world to all life has in store for you.
I don’t think you get to live in that PROMISED LAND until you do honour that small whisper and those deep desires of your soul.
I also think that’s what it means to (and I do use a biblical reference here) “follow God’s will” for your life.
Which, I mean, let’s get real, could be the FUNNEST ADVENTURE of your life.
I’ll be the first to say I’m just a messenger, that my words, my message is just here to spark something that was already within you, for something to be revealed to you…
Your revelation.
Your life.
Remember you and God form a majority in this universe.
You can vote however you want to vote.
Where we fall, where I fall, is always this:
When I look outside of myself for the recognition, the value, worldly perfection, for MY worth.
It’s not out there.
It never was.
It never will be.
Do you get it yet?
True Abundance can NEVER be outside of your head, outside of your mind or outside of your soul. Neither is your worth.
Your abundance is not held with another person. No one holds that magic key.
Your worth is not held with another person. No one holds that magic key.
It’s not with your boss, your company, your job, the lottery, a rich uncle or that sexy Latin lover.
Your abundance sure as HECK is not sitting in the opinions of others.
(Other people always have their own prejudices, dysfunctions, hurts, fears, insecurities – which is their sh*t – not yours! It’s actually amazing we even listen to anyone anyways! 😉 )
So, craziest thing happens when you don’t need the peanut gallery in your life anymore, when you follow your own soul and find your worth within….
You get to…
LIVE YOUR LEGACY.
xx Lisa
