If you saw this page right now, thoughts scattered this morning. Even my coffee is scattered, spilled.
Writing about release is very hard. Mostly because it’s handed me my ASSets this month.
I mean some serious releasing stuff. Things I’ve held on to so tight for the last 17 years. (okay, I lied, 18 years – I usually refer back to when I was 20 – it’s a thing and ya’ll know I had a birthday)
Usually, it’s from the way I thought things were supposed to go and guess what, despite my best efforts, have not gone my way.
Which, at the end of the day, is actually pretty okay with me.
Okay, what kind of BS statement was that.
This was not okay.
So much in my life right now is not okay. Not the way I planned.
This is what I actually wrote and then deleted, “I”m an adventure seeker at heart and thrive with new adventures.” Okay, so true, but this isn’t some trip to New York on my own, or a hike in the Rockies, or like the time I manifested a private jet. Those were adventures.
This.
This is the stuff I don’t care for an adventure with. Things that I want to go my way. Things that I have an expected outcome with.
But, life has other plans. God always has other plans.
Plans that usually come and bite you hard in the ass. Maybe God is a Pitbull….
And to be fair, I’m kinda glad He is.
Cause I’m coming out of what is probably the WORST month I’ve ever had in my business for so many reasons.
Totally thrown off my game. I mean, luckily, I have people who can help and I’m sure from the outside everything looks tickity-boo.
But it wasn’t.
There are days I quit. Literally, wanted to disappear.
So I sabotaged.
Queen Sabotager.
Wow, even coming clean with you, to the page, this morning is sobering.
So, back to the country I go, where I go, alone, crawling into my own thoughts, and just sitting there.
Releasing.
Constantly releasing.
Releasing how things should have been.
I “should’ve” been further ahead by now.
Sobering thought when you realize you were further ahead a decade ago – your money, your relationships, your body. (I know MANY of you have been there!)
And then I think about all the friends, clients, mentors, famous people, millions of people – who had it all and then didn’t.
Because I know that life is not a straight up, bottom left to diagonally right type of life.
But I thought it should’ve been.
I wanted that chart. And I still want that nice chart. (Don’t we all?)
And it wasn’t. And it never will be straight up.
You get caught in all the “shoulds”. And all those shoulds get you blocked the EFFFF up, yes, I’m referring to constipation.
And don’t laugh. (okay, you can always laugh, because I think I’m hilarious at times)
Give your head a shake if you don’t think that it’s all connected. All of it.
As we all are.
This is what happens, by the way, when you don’t release and hold on to stuff:
- you get sick, from cancer to constipation, to massive headaches
- you hold on to extra weight that even the most perfect diet or exercise regime will not allow you to shed
- you yell at your kids more
- you have less patience
- you get pissed at everything and anyone
- you get irritated when the tiniest things don’t go your way
- you get depressed
- you might drink more or smoke more or find new ways to sabotage yourself
- you become a total B*TCH – let’s be honest here
- and the worst thing about all of this holding on – the absolute worst….
- you laugh less. You don’t laugh at all.
Okay, so here’s my BIG idea. Here’s been my most painful, crying EVERYDAY lesson from the last month.
Stop holding on so tight.
Stop holding on so tight, Lisa. {or insert your name here}
Let it all go.
Cause if you don’t, it will go anyways. So be the one to laugh and let it go.
None of it really matters anyway.
Don’t let your identity get so wrapped up in things that can be taken away from you.
This would be money, stuff, relationships, your body.
Things that can’t be taken away from you: a loving heart, serving others, a big smile for the world.
The rest is all fake, and not worth worrying over. Ya, it hurts your pride like a mother-fucker to fail. Yes, I said it.
It’s true.
But you somehow find the courage to keep on keeping on and facing your life after it hasn’t gone your way.
You adult. You own it. (Damn, that even hurts worse sometimes.)
I got to the point where I literally broke down in laughter. (You get sick of the tears sometimes and the stupid stories you keep telling yourself.)
Sometimes you just have to set your soul free. You have to live in that place where everything you look at turns over a new adventure. Put on the glasses, the filter, the one where everything breathes new hope and where everything that crosses your path is another magical miracle.
Because it is.
- True Release means the universe can dance with your soul
- True Release means never having to worry about an outcome
- True Release means you set yourself free knowing God has your back
- True Release means you get to happen to life, not life happen to you.
- True Release allows you to soar, that feeling you get in your dreams when you can fly. (You know that feeling – the one when nothing can stop you. The feeling that you are making a difference, making a contribution, everything in flow, living your life in this most amazing space!)
And you will soar my dear friend. You will always soar in True Release.
xx
