This face. This girl. This woman. This is the face of fear.
You don’t believe me right?
I look confident. I may even look like I have it all together. But I have a dark crazy passenger (not Dexter style – thankfully!)
I have been driving around with this mean crazy chick sitting in the back seat of my car.
She comes and goes sometimes. Once, she even took me for a ride. But that was years ago. I’ve learned my lesson – you never let that crazy B anywhere near the steering wheel of your car, especially if you want it back in one piece.
You’ve driven with her too.
Her name is: FEAR. I call her Aunt F. (She’s that obnoxious aunt you just can’t get rid of that boisterously comments on EVERYTHING you’ve ever done, are doing or plan to do!)
I got this analogy from Big Magic (best book ever!) by Elizabeth Gilbert – if you haven’t read it, read it.
Aunt F has been riding around with me and yesterday she even jumped over the seat and tried to take control of the car while I was driving. She’s bat sh*t crazy!
Let me tell you why Aunt F has made her appearance.
I have 2 major fears in my life right now.
Fear #1
I’m having my first surgery EVER next week. (OK – to be totally truthful, I did once have a mishap while cooking dinner with chicken and knife, which resulted in a minor hand surgery of a bunch of stitches.)
To be honest, I’m totally scared of being “put under” and afraid I’m not going to wake up from the anesthesia. Plus, I’m having an organ removed. Well, kinda. I’m having 2 cysts on my ovaries removed and an ovary removed, which is fine – I don’t need it anymore anyways (been there, done that, & still paying for them!)
Here’s the thing. I totally pride myself on my health. I take no medications. I’m super healthy for the most part. This is the unknown for me. Yes, logic says that I will be okay. But things like what if the paperwork gets messed up and they take out the wrong organ? These are the kinds of things going through my head.
Total Fear.
Fear #2
My book is coming out in a few weeks. I’ve been working towards this for years. And yes, there are moments of extreme excitement, but then Aunt F comes flying in and wrecks my party.
I’m having a book launch, which I am now likening to a wedding. My wedding. It’s all my family, friends, but worse. It will include the media and my business mentors and peers. Terrifying.
Then here’s the kicker. There’s a good chance these people may read my book!
That’s even more terrifying. Here’s why:
I think when you write you are putting yourself out there, even if you write fiction. You are allowing another human being into your mind, your deep thoughts, your convictions, your world. And that’s intimate. It can feel more intimate than SEX! Bearing your soul, connecting with another on a soul level is the most intimate of things, and my book is that. After all, it’s me. I’m putting myself out there in a big way for the world to see (if they so desire for $15.99!)
So now you know I’m a big scaredy cat. I’m scared. I’m terrified.
However, I’ve learned never to let FEAR take over the wheel.
I take her for a ride with me every time. I drag her a$$ around with me. That’s how I know I’m on the right track, that I’m headed in the right direction.
If what I’m doing is VANILLA and BORING then I’m not doing my job right. I’m coasting.
Because I have a purpose, and passion that surrounds that purpose, I refuse to coast.
Tell Aunt F to take a back seat. She’s here for life.
Just do what I do to any loud obnoxious back-seat passengers – I shut them up with a drive-thru happy meal and a kids toy. That should keep her quiet for a few minutes so you can drive and get to your destination in one piece.
Your backseat passengers should never have a say in where your car is going. So don’t let her tell you where to go or worse, let her stop your car!
THIS IS WHAT GETS YOU PAST FEAR:
REF– USE TO LET YOUR BULLSHIT* BE BIGGER THAN YOUR DREAMS!
*Bullshit is Aunt F. It’s the fear. It’s the voice in your head that says you aren’t worthy, you aren’t good enough, you suck, you can’t do this, you will never be able to do that.
THIS is what I do.
Dream.
Set the goal.
One foot in front of the other.
Arrive at destination.
Repeat.
So I raise my coffee this morning to Aunt F: here’s to rocking out my surgery next week, super fast recovery, and the best book launch ever! CHEERS!
