I want to offer some of my personal insights on integrity.
You may think integrity is morals. Having good morals. Being a good person. This is maybe what the dictionary says, but this post ain’t on having good morals or being a good person.
This is about the integrity you have with keeping your word, and in my opinion, it’s even bigger than keeping your word with others.
It’s about keeping your word with yourself – which I believe is more important than keeping your word with others.
Sometimes I feel I’m on a slow struggling SH*T Train to Integrity!
Let me share.
I woke up yesterday hating myself. Like, literally, mad, angry, upset, frustrated with myself. Sitting in a bath of self-loathing. Feeling unworthy, feeling stressed, feeling like total sh*t. Have you ever had a day like that?
I honestly rarely wake up feeling like that, but yesterday was one of those days. I want to say I woke up on the wrong side of bed, but that’s just a cop-out.
The next day, I went for a run. Running is usually how I work through my problems, my form of meditation; so I started digging deep. Why was I hating myself so much this morning? What happened to bring this on from the moment I woke up?
And then a few steps later it came to me, as the answers usually do when you ask.
I was not keeping my word with myself. I had made a plan on Friday morning to complete a specific project for work. All my projects are self-imposed because I’m self-employed. For me, it would be easier to have a real boss some days because I’m the perfect “yes” man! That’s my people pleasing disease still coming back to haunt me. I guess I’m not quite out of rehab yet. I find it easier to do everything for everyone else than to put myself first sometimes.
So Friday came and went. Then Saturday, I wanted to complete my project again. Self-sabotage endured. It took form in finishing half a season of Nashville on Netflix. If I’m being totally truthful, that was my way of hitting bottom. Usually by the time Netflix comes out, I’m already so mad at myself, that I just want to hide and crawl in my cave and get lost in other people’s problems as a way of avoiding my own. Nashville is a great show full of other people’s problems!
I realized Sunday on my run, that it wasn’t just the project I had not done. I realized that I had not completed my whole list of things (including working out on Friday and Saturday) that I set out to do that day. This entire list maybe would have taken 5 hours of my day in total, and I still would have been able to spend the rest of the day with my family. So what happened?
I had not set boundaries with myself.
I had not kept my word with myself.
I let my feelings run wild to decide what I “felt” like doing, and trust me, when left to our feelings of what we want to do, your days will probably end up like sh*t too! I’m sure most of us “feel” like doing nothing most of the time, or at minimum taking the easy way out. We don’t want pain and we sure as heck don’t want to work.
Sunday was an awesome day. I got off the Sh*t Train! I woke up early, planned my day, went for a run and got started on my list. I got everything on my little list done and felt like a million bucks! I kept my word with myself AND I even had enough time to take a Sunday afternoon nap outside for a few minutes and it was freakin’ glorious!
Doing something you said you were going to do, keeping a promise to yourself feels so damn good! It puts you in a happy state, a higher vibrational state, a deeply joyful state. This isn’t just for your benefit, this benefits others around you.
This is what you were called to do: SHINE. You shine by being proud of yourself! Trust me, the moments I’m so damn proud of myself I know I’m inspiring others to do the same. So be proud of yourself, complete your to-do list or whatever words or goals you promised yourself.
This also goes for making money, growing your money and keeping your money. You need to keep your word with the financial goals you set for yourself.
Isn’t it funny how when you save money, regardless of the amount, you feel like a million bucks?!
Set boundaries with yourself and others so that you can complete what you set out for yourself. Say NO when you have to.
Light is contagious my friends! When you are a light you will shine and brighten others around you. This is what lights were called to do: Brighten.
BOTTOM LINE: Keep your word with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you can nurture. Integrity with yourself will allow you to be proud of yourself and then you SHINE!
