This is a story of my friend. She is like so many women I know.
She is a lovely, wonderful human being. Someone you’d want to drink wine with, travel with and laugh with. Someone that is pleasant, funny, caring, and deeply loving. Someone that you’d want to spend your time with. She is like so many women I know.
She puts others first. She is organized. She is intentional. She works hard. She is not entitled. She is like so many women I know.
She takes care of her family. She puts them first. She is love and light to so many people. She is like so many women I know.
She is in great health. She exercises and eats well. She is beautiful inside and out. She is like so many women I know.
She lives in a beautiful home, styled just to her liking. She has a reliable newer car that she loves. She has a designer handbag. She always looks well put together. She is like so many women I know.
She has a job. She has a great career. She makes good money when she wants to. She has a small pension somewhere. She has saved a little. She has benefits. She bought life insurance. She is like so many women I know. She carries with her something she never puts down. She sometimes wakes up with this and goes to bed with it. It is like a small purse. A small purse that is with her always and over time begin to feels heavy. She holds the purse in one arm, leaving the other arm to work with, and when one arm gets tired, she switches sides, however, one hand is always busy. It’s annoying. She has a great life, and yet she can’t seem to put down this small purse.
She carries with her an invisible heaviness she never puts down. She sometimes wakes up with this and goes to bed with it. It is like a small purse filled with heavy weights. A small handbag that is with her always, and over time she dresses it up and makes it look beautiful. Sometimes she trades it in for a designer clutch only to mask the heaviness she carries. She holds the purse in one arm, leaving the other arm to work with, and when one arm gets tired, she switches sides, however, one hand is always busy holding her heavy clutch. It’s annoying. She has a great life, and yet she can’t seem to empty or put down this heavy bag.
In that small purse is…
Shame.
Shame in feeling that she is not good enough. Perhaps shame in many areas of her life, or perhaps just one. Shame surrounding her financial mess. Shame around money. Shame around making too much or too little. Shame around saving too little. Shame in feeling like she is not where she is “suppose to be”. She is like so many women I know.
How do I help my friend put down her small purse, or your large suitcase of shame. There is no shame in asking for help. There is no shame in starting from scratch or starting from zero. Everything starts from nothing.
Is shame keeping you from your dreams?
For my friends, my ladies, my girls, my babes…..listen very carefully. There is no shame in starting to invest at age 30. There is no shame in starting to invest or save or plan at age 50. There is no shame in this. There is no shame in asking for help, guidance, or mentorship. I say this as a person who has been there before.
What makes me an expert on shame? I feel shame. I feel shame that my business is not where I want it to be at. I’m not making as much money yet as I plan. I’m not cash flowing my millions yet (I was “supposed” to at 30). I also know that it will take time. It takes planning. It takes help, guidance, mentors and surrounding myself with a great team of people. I’m working on it. I’ll admit it.
I know why most people go to a faceless bank or invest online or don’t seek the help they need and invite an actual human relationship to help them financially or otherwise. It is because you don’t really have to show anyone that you have no money (or the money that you think you should have); that you aren’t really where you want to be financially at your age. (This goes for anything in your life: fitness, spiritual, relationship, business, etc.)
I know right now that I’m writing this not just for one friend, but for so many women I know. You need to hear this message. This message is for you. Don’t worry about the Joneses, because the Joneses are worried about the other Joneses down the street. Just worry about you.
I want you to get all that you want from this life, and yes, that does mean money.
For you my friend, today, whether you are 23, 33, 43, 53, or 63, as long as you are breathing it is never too late to learn more about how YOUR money works, and to make sure YOU are on YOUR right path to what YOU want from life.
Don’t let shame keep you from reaching your dreams.
Get yourself a cheerleader who believes in you, who wants to see you succeed and exceed all your dreams. Find someone who sees you for how great you are, and not just where you are. Take small steps and set up an appointment with whomever will help you get there.
BOTTOM LINE: Turn your cute designer handbag full SHAME and flip it over and empty it out – then fill that cute designer handbag full of dreams and money to fund them! Take the one simple action today toward getting your financial house in order. You’ve got this!
