Bad 80’s Music, Cheap Champagne and Taxes

TAXES

I think it’s time to put some perspective on my least favourite subject. Oh, no wait, that would be Justin Bieber. However, taxes do run a close second.

Ever had a GQ-Harvard-type-guy fall in love with you that kept pursuing you, giving you flowers and chocolates, spoiling you, buying you designer purses, Louboutins, delivering cup cakes to your office, flying you to exotic places, fancy dinners, randomly depositing thousands in your bank account, leaving love notes on your car, opening the car door for you, writing you love texts throughout your day to say how much he loves you and romancing your skirt off?

Neither have I.

Taxes are the opposite of a good lover.  They are like when you have a headache and just aren’t that into it (come on’ like you’ve never had a ‘headache’ before?!) But it’s way worse than just having a headache for one night.  It’s like having a headache for the rest of your life coupled with a bad 80’s mix tape, cheap champagne and topped off with an awful awkward kisser.  And then it just goes on and on and on (and downhill) for years.  In fact, it happens so much, you don’t even know it’s happening to you because we women have the skills to block out anything!

And I’m not dissing our system at all, taxes do provide so many amazing social services and jobs and we are truly blessed to live in such a great country!

However, you do need to know how you are getting taxed, because unless you are aware, you will have no idea how to minimize its impact on your financial situation.  Although, you can’t do much about most of these forms of tax (tariffs, duties, royalties, mandatory fees), it’s just good to realize that you are indeed paying your fair share.

Here are all the ways we get ‘headaches’ in Canada for now:
-income tax (federal and provincial)
-property tax (even if you rent someone is paying them)
-Goods and services tax (GST)
-provincial sales tax
-capital gains tax
-import tax
-export tax
-payroll tax
-mineral royalties
-land transfer tax
-highway toll fees
-gas tax
-tabacco tax
-employer health tax
-dog license
-hunting and game license
-automobile license
-hotel tax
-airport tax
-probate fees/inheritance tax
-marriage licence tax
-utilities tax
-hospital tax
-parking ticket tax (ok – I consider that a tax!)
-liquor tax (where’s my drink now!)

Honestly, there are too many types of taxes and I’m sure I didn’t even list them all. There is no way to accurately figure out how much of every dollar goes to taxes, however intuitively you know it’s higher than Bob Marley’s last joint.

Now, the moral of my story is this: Bad kissers you can avoid. Taxes (and 80’s music) you can’t. You just need to know how to minimize the headache. So make sure you are getting the right tax prescription and the best financial pharmacist out there!